...bu tong ze tong, tong ze bu tong...不通這痛, 痛則不通

PW does Portland

2010-04-30T14:09:00.000-07:00

so, i KNOW that the Pioneer Woman (aka PW, Ree Drummond, P-dub) is popular. I mean, really, the woman has been on national television several times, has published her own photographs and has a constantly updated blog chronicling her life on an Oklahoma cattle ranch that is read by tens of thousands of people. I know this. I am one of these people. Oh, and she is having a movie made of her life. people know this woman.

so, i'm not sure what i was expecting when i went to her book signing here in Portland. somehow, despite all her notoriety i thought it might be a small, subdued shindig. because, for all her accolades, and my constant reading of her life, cooking and photo skills - i have not yet ever run into someone else who reads her blog. so, here i assumed in rainy, little portland, that if i just *showed* up on time, i'd have a shot at talking to Ree. (not that i had any idea what to say except that i obsessively follow her blog, but can't write, cook or photograph nearly as well as she can!)

who was i even kidding? this is what it looked like when I arrived.

i *should* have know. of course it didn't help that we got a little bit lost thanks to my GPS, but there's no way i would have ever been there early enough to get a ticket. the woman standing behind me, arrived at 430, and got ticket number 300. THREE HUNDRED. and the signing didn't start until 6 - so I don't even want to know what number I would have been. and we'll never know, as there weren't any numbers left.

so, i guess, people in Portland know Ree.

So there we were, standing in the mall corridor, on a slight incline so I could *just* make out the empty podium. believe me, i tried to use zoom to get some close up shots, but my little point and shoot didn't quite cut it. So, we're chatting to some of the folks standing around, explaining to bewildered mall-goers what all this fuss was about when, all too quickly Ree walks in from behind us, apologizing for being late (her GPS had trouble too) and making her way through the throngs of adoring fans, and on up to the podium.

i wish i could post a picture of when PW said this to us, but, alas, I was so not ready with my camera.

we, did however get to chat with her daughter and mother-in-law!

And when i say we - i mean mostly the woman standing behind me. i felt kind of awkward. i feel like i know these people, but i don't *actually* know these people. that almost makes me feel like a stalker when i say it that way. Ree - i promise, i'm not. i did say hi. and ask if they enjoyed portland. (they did).

and found out that Ree's eldest daughter was allowed on the trip because she was the only one who wouldn't be missing soccer. see, i really was there. And so was Tracey, in her lucky jumper.

Ree answered questions, sang, and gave life advice. you know, all the things you do at a book signing. there were parts of it i couldn't hear while all the way in the back. so, after the talking finished and the signing started (for which i had no number) i crept up toward the front. through the millions and millions of people. maybe not millions, in actuality as portland doesn't have that kind of population density. but. lots of people. women, husbands, children, lots of babies... i couldn't compete.

Tracey snagged her first look at the cookbook (which her family then surprised her with for her birthday!
and then, i was definitely that girl who went up to the front and starting taking photos of PW and other people. so, here's Ree:

and I'm assuming these women came together, in their matching teal. it was great to see sets of friends, mothers and daughters all talking food and photography.

and no, i have no idea what they are talking about - but whatever it was got bigger, according to the woman on the left.

here we go! i'm pretty sure i was sitting on the floor to take this one. i was the girl in the bright red corduroy jacket who did not get a book signed but came up close and took photos anyway.

btw , Ree - i heart your hair. and your boots. don't take this the wrong way, but can i be you?

so, with the abundance of adorable children

and babies with faces like this one, i doubt if Ree even noticed my stalker-like tendencies...

in another, less chaotic section of the store

there was some more book-signing going on.

So, all in all it was an adventure. i am glad i went! i am sad to admit i did not wait the line out, until general call. (Ree, I love you, but we were hungry). I hope PW and her family enjoyed Portland, and will come and visit again sometime!

Thanks, Ree! (oh, and in this photo I'm pretty sure the woman was asking Ree what type of coffee beverage she was drinking. people are such a trip!)

Lost April/Where did you go?

2010-04-30T13:20:00.000-07:00

i CANNOT believe it is the end of April. really. this month has been full up. completely and totally full up.

it all started innocently enough. you know, with April first. and there were no shenanigans. on april 2nd however... the mischief began.

tim's family came to visit from England - his lovely sister, Tracey.

Tracey @ on of the many falls in Silver Falls SP

Her husband, Colin.

Colin @ Cabin # 4

and their 2 boys, Jon and Will.

(L to R) Will, Tim and Jon practicing their catalogue poses

Little did we all know when they arrived that they would be stranded here for the month.

The first 2 weeks went as planned, the Hinsleys visted, then went off to explore the beautiful Oregon coast (perhaps never to return!) then we all journeyed down to Silver Falls to get a dose of rain, waterfalls and more shades of green than you could ever possibly imagine. the Hinsleys then took off again - this time toward Mt. Hood. All the while, work has been pretty busy, and I've been neglecting yoga severely.

Upon their return from the east we celebrated a very important birthday of one mr. tim taylor. complete with sausage rolls and party games. and cake. (remember cake, it becomes a very recurring theme for the month of april).

Tim's surprise bday set-up

the next day, while the Hinsleys were scheduled to depart (sadly, i might add - for me - as i felt like i had hardly any time to hang out with them) they were unable to due to the large ash cloud hanging over most of western europe's airspace (oops).

and so, due to the magic of a volcano erupting over Iceland, the Hinsley family extended their stay for another 8 days (approximately). during which time there was cake. lots and lots of cake. secretly, i was really excited. not about the stress it caused everyone and the rewriting of plans, but to have more time, more laughter, and well, yes, even more cake.

firstly i stole Tracey and we went to The Pioneer Woman's book signing. this will be a separate post. but, yes, we met Ree. exciting.

secondly, we had Will's birthday to plan - which involved, as per his wishes, a cake of four cakes. i'll leave you to ponder that a moment.

Will's Epic Cake.
in 4 parts: coffee walnut, marshmallow chocolate, raspberries and cream, and nutella and marshmallow

thirdly - it was SO SO nice to have Tracey, Colin, Jon and Will here - to get a chance to have them stay with us, and get to know them - eat lots of delicious meals, laugh a whole lot and generally have a good time. i hope they enjoyed their stay and have happy thoughts about oregon, and staying with us!

and that was pretty much april - would you believe - the Hinsley family departed on the 26th, but not before we celebrated Tracey's birthday on the 25th - and since then i've been busy at work, not cleaning the house, and being incredulous that the month has already flown by. wow.

post on PW's book signing and photos to arrive soon.

also, i didn't mean to neglect you - it's just that, well, i've been pretty much neglecting everything. i have tons of photos to sort through, post and well, generally get under control. hopefully soon.

objects in the mirror are closer than they seem... where DID april go?

we can never know what to want...

2010-03-25T10:24:00.001-07:00

"We can never know what to want, because, living only one life, we can neither compare it with our previous lives nor perfect it in our lives to come."
-Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being

this quote came to mind after chatting with Emily for a bit. It just seems so true sometimes.

already the heart

2010-03-18T21:14:00.000-07:00

this poem has been repeating itself in my head as of late. my dear friend Sara sent it to me several years ago along with a letter. i don't know where she came across it, but certainly i thank her for sharing it. for some reason it has stuck with me and comes unasked into my thoughts. so, now, i share with you.

Already the Heart

The spinal cord blossoms
like bright, bruised magnolia
into the brainstem.
And already the heart
in its depth - who could assail it?
Bathed in my voice, all branching
and dreaming. The flowering
and fading - said the poet -
come to us both at once.
Here is your best self,
and the least, two sparrows
alight in the one tree
of your body.

-A.V. Christie

Here is your best self,/and the least, two sparrows/alight in the one tree/of your body... indeed. this is what keeps spinning around my head.

...watching the tide roll away...

2010-03-10T12:53:00.000-08:00

l spent the past weekend in San Francisco, where I haven't been for wayyyy too long. it was great. and while it was great, it was also superquick and not nearly enough time to visit or explore. guess i'll just have to go back. so, let's see... I stayed in Berkeley for 3 nights with the lovely Barbara and her husband Justin. They just moved into the coolest apartment built around a boulder. they have solar power and radiant floor heat. (btw, i LOVE radiant floor heat). amazing. also, totally amazing to catch up with friends and colleagues (Janie stayed with Barbara too!). We had a great time catching up, outside the seminar... we even managed to eat delicious cupcakes while sitting by the bay :)

the seminar itself. i am not even sure where to begin. i'm still processing it all. Ikeda Sensei was amazing, and Edward Sensei was a phenomenal translator. i definitely felt that my brain was trying to understand and recover the long ago Japanese studies it received. and man, do I want to learn Japanese again. The information was great, but lots, and more than anything, the whole experience was just an inspiration and made me fall in love with this medicine all over again.

briefly got to catch up with Lisa and Aunt Debbie. So so great to see them. And certainly not nearly enough time to do us all justice. Thank you both for meeting up with me :) So good to hug you!

And then spent Monday with Emily (thank you Clint for sharing your apartment) and mostly we just walked around Chinatown and caught up. (and emily got some very fabulous bok choy hair clips).

overall, exhausting. but so good. I needed it. all of it. the professional inspiration, the catching up with colleagues and friends, the getting out of my own life for a few days. it could not have come at better time. so, thank you, everyone who made it possible.

the true and the questions

2010-03-03T15:48:00.001-08:00

Tomorrow is my 29th birthday and life is messy... All my life I thought that at 29 I would really get it together. my life pulled together. Life would be clear and right. Life isn't. Life is messy.

We are juggling our balls of grocery lists and birthday cards to send. emails to write and appointments to reschedule. keeping them moving in the air. We are all carrying so many things in our life. and inside ourselves. often it feels there is no place to put them down.

Where do you place the questions you carry? The sadness and the epiphanies? The quiet worries? Where can you put down the truth, as messy and new and raw as it sometimes feels?

- Sabrina Ward Harrison, The True and the Questions

kind of where i'm at right now. and didn't have better words than those. (it's a great journal by the way - interesting questions, beautiful art and some inspiration)

you catch your breath and winter starts again/ and everyone else is spring bound...

2010-02-24T15:55:00.000-08:00

the past week and a half has been gorgeous here...

as i mentioned, flowers blooming, warm, sunny weather. everyone is so happy.

oddly, am feeling not ready for spring. emotionally i think i still need a bit of winter, introspection, withdrawing into myself... i am not quite ready to be moving outward. luckily for me, there's been a bit of rain the past few days - which has let me sleep a bit better. it's nothing like winter, but it'll do.

i think i just need a few more weeks, and then i'll be ready for the spring.

I tiger you.

2010-02-15T14:03:00.000-08:00

It's true.

I do. Xin nian kuai le and happy lunar new year. Despite being largely absent for the past few weeks (apologies, have been working though some life things). I am here. And apparently here in Portland, we think it's spring. crocuses and daffodils not only shoots appearing but flowers as well. we're only in February. I keep telling the plants that they need to wait a month... i am worried for their futures should we return to winter in the meantime.

however, that being said, i am certainly don't mind sunshine and 50 degree weather. i, for one, cannot believe that it is the middle of february already. there is so much going on in the upcoming months... sometimes it overwhelms me.

the exciting news of the next few weeks is that i am heading to San Francisco to attend a 3 day seminar with Masakazu Ikeda on Japanese acupuncture. so so SO excited. seriously. not only am i excited to be immersed in Japanese acupuncture (i feel a bit like i've been lacking it in my life) but i will also get to see some old friends and colleagues who are also attending this seminar. i won't lie, i am also very excited about that part of things as well. especially because i feel that close friends is something i've been lacking close by. it'll be good to spend some time with people who know me. and to make it even better, emily is coming up for the weekend and i will get to spend some quality time with her! yay! am also hoping that we can work out schedules so i can see Aunt Debbie, Lisa and Merrily if time permits! yay!

on the flip-side of things it's been a tough month, not sure if it was the detox + other events but i was remarkably sad. and while there is nothing inherently wrong with this (emotions are like weather, no? they come and go) i am on a search to find out why- when life right now is essentially good - do i feel this heaviness? i'll let you know... ha.

a partial quote from one of my very favorite Pema Chodron pieces

"This first noble truth says that it's part of being human to feel discomfort. Nothing in its essence is one way or the other. All around us the wind, the fire, the earth, the water, are always taking on different qualities; they're like magicians. We also change like the weather. We ebb and flow like the tides, we wax and wane like the moon. We fail to see that like the weather, we are fluid, not solid. And so we suffer... If we learn to sit still like a mountain in a hurricane, unprotected from the truth and vividness and the immediacy of simply being part of life, then we are not this separate being who has to have things turn out our way. When we stop resisting and let the weather simply flow through us, we can live our lives completely. It's up to us."

we all leave and let go

2010-01-18T15:16:00.000-08:00

there's a story i know
we all leave and let go
there is nothing to hold us

in a moment of time
when the fruit becomes wine
and the thought becomes the memory

all of your sorrow
maybe tomorrow
will fade away in the air...

-Goldenhorse, 'Maybe Tomorrow'

haven't found the words yet. not sure the thoughts are really there yet either. it's a bit surreal. i just know that i probably don't tell my family i love them enough. you're in my heart and thoughts and i do love you. more than words.

Helping Haiti.

2010-01-14T14:03:00.000-08:00

A re-post from over at anatomyacupuncture.com.
-------------------------------
In light of the recent earthquake in Haiti - this country with an already poor infrastructure needs all the help and support it can get.

Here's how YOU can help. The following are some easy and legitimate ways to contribute to relief work in Haiti if you're so inclined.

* Doctors Without Borders (MSF): Is an independent international organization committed to bringing quality medical care to people caught in crisis regardless of race, religion, or political affiliation. They are currently providing relief and much needed medical care to the earthquake victims in Haiti. Donate here.

* Partners in Health (PIH) : is a another great organization that provides access to primary care and free health care and education for people who are unable to afford it. They also with communities to provide better access to sanitation, health care, food, water and shelter. To donate specifically to PIH's efforts in Haiti - click here.

* American Red Cross (ARC): The American Red Cross shelters, feeds and provides emotional support to victims of disasters; supplies nearly half of the nation's blood; teaches lifesaving skills; provides international humanitarian aid; and supports military members and their families. To donate to disaster relief or specifically to Haiti - click here.

* Mercy Corps: Mercy Corps exists to alleviate suffering, poverty and oppression by helping people build secure, productive and just communities. Mercy Corps is currently helping earthquake survivors in Haiti. To Donate to their efforts - click here.

* Text 'Haiti' to 90999 to donate $10 towards the Red Cross's relief effort in Haiti. This is backed by the US State Department. Read more here.

Also, one of my favorite bloggers to read - The Pioneer Woman - is giving away two $500 donations of relief support for Haiti to the charity of the winner's choice. To enter, just leave a comment on her blog. Additionally, she is donating 10 cents per comment to relief efforts - so spread the love!

* Come in for an appointment at Anatomy Acupuncture - For my part, I'll donate $10 per patient I see for the rest of the month towards relief in Haiti via one of the above organizations. So, come in and get acupuncture, and help Haiti too!

welcome to miami...

2010-01-10T21:08:00.000-08:00

so, actually. this is a bit late. i had all these thoughts about posting over the vacation but... yeah, i was kind of lazy. miami was great. it was SO good to see dad (a year and a half without seeing him, that was crazy - i can't believe it was that long...never again). It was also great to have some sunshine and warm weather... a break from the chillier climes of oregon. the week in miami was just what i needed, a little recharge - away from work (as much as i love it, it's still great to have a break), hanging with family (Kian is so big, it's amazing how time goes), being next to the ocean... ahhh, i love it.

anyway, tim and i had a great time - walked around south beach, people watched, visited the everglades, swam in the ocean, saw beautiful sunrises, ate delicious cuban food... it was good :).

and now i'm back in portland, good to be here with puma, i missed her! glad to be working, and actually just starting a 14 days detox today with some of the other practitioners and patients at awakening lotus. it's different than some the detoxs i've done before, and i'm excited about it - especially do be doing it with a group - it has a different feel than doing it on my own. that being said, one of the things i wanted to do along with detox was write everyday. however, i think i am going to post the detox musing on the anatomy acupuncture site... so if you're interested, check them out over there.

much love, and a couple photos from miami...

nothing says love like a sharp knife...

2009-12-11T15:37:00.000-08:00

to quote deb of smittenkitchen fame (see her kitchen gift guide for the foodie in your life). and indeed, that's what i got for the holidays this year.

it's beyond exciting to have big girl knives. i have never previously had a what anyone could classify as a true kitchen knives. knives i've used in the kitchen - for sure. certainly none of quality or that made my life easier.

the knives i had now... wow, they are a dream. i went to sur la table to hold some knives, because after all the reading about various brands, it's what feels right in your hand... so, i went held knives... wusthoff, henckels, global... but i fell in love with Shun. not only are the blades beautiful (i honestly feel like they should be framed on my wall) but they felt so right to hold.

however, these knives are anything but inexpensive, and so i went home with lots to think about - if i needed a set or if just one really good knife was worth all the others. got home, was talking to tim about them, and it turns out that Kai USA (the distributor of Shun cutlery here in the US) also is home of kershaw knives, which makes some pocket knives tim happens to like. And to top it off they're located in a suburb of portland. so, that's exciting. but then tim tells me they happen to be having they're annual factory sale.

we go.

and well, here's what i came home with...

this is the mini 4inch chef's knife... a fast favorite with tim.

the 5inch utility knife... so far works great for everything...from cutting oranges to cheese.

the hollow-edge 7 inch santoku... now this is destined to become my favorite knife... perfect size for chopping... well just about anything. (i have to learn to keep my fingers out of the way, though...)

10 inch chef's blade - it's a beauty, and i am looking forward to taking some knife skills classes to feel comfortable with it.

9 inch serrated multi-purpose (bread) knife. and wow, it's a different world to have a bread knife that, well, cuts bread. instead of crushing it, like i'm used to.

and the cleaver. while not a very good picture, i actually think this is a beautiful blade, and would totally hang it on my wall.

before you have a heart attack, realize, please that i did not pay anywhere close to MSRP on these. it was the factory sale and things were priced extremely reasonably. which is not to say i didn't spend some money, but i think it was a good investment (and many thanks to mama and tim who contributed heavily to this purchase as my gift this year) and they make me happy!

in case you're wondering, these are the Shun Ken Onion set, which differ in the handles from the normal Shun line. The normal Shun line comes with offset handles for either the right-handed or left-handed user. I handled some of these and they were great. However, the Ken Onion line was on a deeper discount and has ambidextrous handles which is key in a house with different-handed cooks...

and honestly, i don't think the girl in the store was lying when she said they would change my life... as you can imagine, i can't wait to get using these and will chronicle my knife adventures for you in the future!

in dreams...

2009-12-09T14:07:00.000-08:00

so i've been having kind of weird dreams recently. weird in a random mundane sort of way. they're all kind of real, me doing everyday things or with people i know. nothing fantastic or crazy, but weird in the little details.

for instance, i realized this morning, that i've now had this part of a dream several times. it's me taking out my contact lenses and putting them in a contact case (i know, fascinating - why is this even worth writing about?), except when i'm taking them out - i take out 3 lenses every time. i see them clearly in the case. in my dream this does not strike me as odd, however as i was putting my lenses in this morning i found myself looking for the 3rd one...

not that i have any idea where it was supposed to go.

thoughts?

return (v. intr.)

2009-11-28T14:48:00.000-08:00

v. re·turned, re·turn·ing, re·turns

v.intr.

1. To go or come back, as to an earlier condition or place.

2. To revert in speech, thought, or practice.

3. To revert to a former owner.
4. To answer or respond.

n.

a. The act or condition of going, coming, bringing, or sending back.

b. The act of bringing or sending something back to a previous place, condition, or owner.

a. Something brought or sent back.

b. returns Merchandise returned, as to a retailer by a consumer or to a wholesaler by a retailer.

c. Something that goes or comes back.

3. A recurrence, as of a periodic occasion or event: the return of spring.

4. Something exchanged for that received; repayment.

5. A reply; a response.

another day, another airport. this time jfk. and a much longer layover. but i am impressed by the ease and convenience and cleanliness of the jetBlue terminal. i highly recommend it, if you have to go through NYC - the free wireless is great.

but moving on... return, returning, returned.... i was thinking about this a lot last week, before i went home. i had been to yoga and my teacher was talking about returning to the breath. and i wanted to explore this idea a bit more. what 'return' signified versus just attending to. because one can easily notice the breath without returning to it, and likewise, many other things. it's not just noticing, there seems to be this movement inherent to the word return. what i find fascinating is that it signifies both coming and going, sending and bringing... despite the fact that i find this slightly contradictory, it implies movement. and i like that - because that means there is not this passive observation, but an active intention.

i like this.

i was originally going to write this about my return home. but i've already left home. and i guess this is a different return - one to my daily life. home was so great, and grounding. and exhausting. i love my family and friends so much. and it's such a joy to see them and be there, and suspend this other life i live by myself, without them. i wish i didn't have to sleep (even the little i did) just so i could spend more time with them. but it's bittersweet, in some ways it reminds how much i'm missing in this other life i'm in the process of returning to...

while portland certainly isn't the 'home' i will always think about, where i grew up, where my family is, and where my friends and go back to. but it is also home in another way. it's where i've chosen to make my life, and i like the city and what it offers, and i like the scenery, and my job, and my house... all these things feel right to me. but i'm still missing that closeness of people i've known for years, of family that loves me unconditionally and makes me laugh until my stomach hurts, of friends i can talk about life superficially and deeply and anywhere between, who will tell me if i'm being ridiculous and who i feel so completely at ease with. this is what i miss. and this is what makes returning home so wonderful and then returning to my other home so hard.

i guess that's it - right? there's always a balance, but not a static one - a coming and a going, a sending and a bringing.

so, thank you. for indulging my sentimentality. and thank you raychel, sarah and mike - for always making time for me and planning get together - i love you being a part of my life! thank you dida and laura for making time in your busy schedules - i know life is hectic and it's always a treat to see you even briefly. thank you amy and natalie - i know i'm always busy but i am so glad you're always there at thanksgiving (and you should definitely come visit portland). thank you muffin, for driving hours to visit and for just being you. thank you court and karen - for the meals, and the catch-up and for being amazing women doing amazing things with your lives, i am constantly inspired by you. thank you emily and grace for everything - it wouldn't be home without you. thank you tim and puma - for making my other home a place i want to go back to. and more than anything - thank you to mama and craig for being the best mother and brother i could ask for - you mean the world to me, and while i'm not home often, i have you with me always.

and now that i've sat here crying in the middle of the most amazing terminal in the jfk airport writing this possibly nonsensical emotional post, i think it's almost time to board my next plane.

love and hugs, and see ya on the west side...

she left on a monday...

2009-11-23T23:11:00.000-08:00

sitting in the pdx airport. which actually, is pretty sweet. security is quick and there's free wi-fi everywhere. that being said, i wish my flight was at least boarding already. it's nice to be on the red-eye because i don't lose a day to travel, but... i'm usually asleep by now :P

heading back east for thanksgiving. to home. to friends. to family. i love thanksgiving. there's just something about it at my house. the smells of baking, the togetherness, it's fun and fast and i'm crazy exhausted when it's over, but i look forward to it all year. i can't wait to be up late at night baking pies with craig, going to neighbors houses to use their ovens, because the one oven in our house is never enough, the last minute grocery store run - because there is ALWAYS one, pajamas and aprons and cooking in the kitchen with mama thanksgiving morning, setting the table, placing the pies, taking the photos. and then, of course, everyone who comes over. there's just nothing else like it, and i am so ready to be home, to feel this grounding and enveloping sense of home.

i have some other thoughts i wanted to talk about - that i was reminded of in yoga this morning. but, i'm hoping we're boarding soon. so this is it for now, if i can't sleep i may very well try to get some of that into writing.

see you on the east coast :)

i have to admit it's getting better...

2009-11-04T22:17:00.000-08:00

i'm finally starting to get into a rhythm at work. i have days and rooms and patients. it's getting there. slowly. but it's getting there.

it really does amaze me how much better and centered i feel not being in 3 different places. and now that work is falling into place i need to get the rest of my life there. i'd really like to start doing yoga regularly again, and maybe some taiji. but seeing as my health insurance premium went up 18%, i'm not sure that's going to happen right now (though i swear the money would be better spent on yoga, it would certainly do more for my health and wellbeing than the insurance does - as i haven't used it once in over a year...). but anyway... the healthcare situation is a whole can of worms i can't get into right now.

what else, what else? we're in november, which means it's time to talk pies for thanksgiving. am looking for some new recipes to add to the repertoire. though, i did make some pretty stellar halloween cupcakes...

if you've got any must-have pie requests, let me know... apple generally isn't my thing, but, i'm open to suggestion. (if you have never seen the tgiving pie spread, take a look at last years.... )

Pie-tastic!

in other VERY exciting news... Dr. Graciela Mitchell will be gracing the land of Port with her presence next week and i, for one, cannot WAIT! yay!

next week is going to be killer.... health fair at adidas, then talk at new seasons (i should work on that...) and then frolicking with Gracie! and then it's almost time to head back east (i can't believe it's been a year since i've been home... crazy!).

and now i'm just rambling. so i'm going to call it a night. but make sure to check out my blog on cold and flu prevention over at: www.anatomyacupuncture.com/blog.html

all the leaves are brown...

2009-10-19T20:27:00.000-07:00

actually. they're not at all. they're brilliantly colored reds, oranges and yellows right now. just stunning.

but that song has been running through my head for days, so i had to use it.

so, about my last post. probably any of you reading this already know, because i've talked to you, but let me explain anyway.

i've been sort of stressed out. working multiple places, feeling scattered and that my energy was so ungrounded - which is not beneficial to me or my patients, nor do i think it will help me be successful. so, i had to make a decision, to gather what is healthy and good and let go of that which doesn't serve me any longer... i decided to quit Tri-D. which was a really difficult decision for me, because i get so much out of being there that is not monetary. i love the boys, i love working out and in my head that was *exactly* the kind of place i was going to go and make my sports medicine practice.

unfortunately, it just wasn't busy, and i was spending too much time and effort and it's been about a year, and it just hasn't been going anywhere. so, i decided it had to go. but, i was worried about telling the owner, because as much as i know i needed to do it, part of me really didn't want to. however, since i have - i feel SO much better. not to mention it means i am no longer going to early morning networking...i won't even get into that.

but, seriously, it was like this weight lifted, my anxiety left, my sleep is better. it's so cliche, but true - this is what stress does to you, i guess. that being said, it's now on me to make this work 100%, no outside attributions for success or failure, this is my life and i have to make it work. which is so exciting, and i am so passionate about it, but it terrifies me too. i'm in for a lot of hard work.

i think i'm ready. let's do this!

but i want to thank all my friends and family for their support through this - i know i was such a mess - thank you for your listening, your hugs, and your love! also, thank you to tim, who is a web genius, and figured out how to make my anatomy acupuncture blog be integrated into my website. go check it out and my new post on autumn... http://anatomyacupuncture.com/blog.html and tell me what you think.

anyway, as i come to more of center in the next couple of weeks, with a more organized schedule i plan on having devoted time for writing, both for myself and to share. it'll be a good thing.

here's to transition...

on autumn...

2009-10-08T14:15:00.000-07:00

"It is a time of turning inward; a time to gather what is good, healthy, abundant and pure to our centers; a time to let go of what no longer serves us well and release what holds us back."

in the midst of gathering information for a blog post on TCM and autumn i came across the above quote. given my current life state it was some affirmation i needed. more on this later, and hopefully a full fledged post on the anatomyacupuncture site.

anyway, just thought i'd share.

"...my calendar lies crumbled/laid to waste..."

2009-10-04T13:14:00.000-07:00

It's been scrawled on, thumbed through and changed. Will this be the measure of my days? Dinners and appointments and deadlines I can't make.
-Indigo Girls "I'll Change"

i promise i haven't forgotten you. i've just been... tired. so tired. september, was a hectic month. lots of travel, lots of visitors - all of it fabulous and fun, but had me running around like a chicken with it's head cut off, and while i planned to post many times (oh, do i have photos for you!) i just never *quite* managed to find that time...

we can still be friends, right?

september began calmly enough... but all of a sudden i was heading out to montana - and you know how it is when you leave town, everyone wants to see you...lots of late appointments, lots of work to do, not to mention pack and sort out the roadtrip. finally, we left early one friday morning, and excepting my *first* speeding ticket EVER it was a wonderful journey. i think it was the fastest (not literally, thanks to officer mark o'neill) 10 hours in the car. the weather was beautiful, the scenery (except eastern WA) new and pretty and well, i guess the company wasn't half bad either. :P

how do i describe montana... the trip was amazing. outside the rugged beauty of the land, and the very accomodating weather, seeing Katrin was phenomenal. So great to catch up, to see her get married, to meet Jake... what a beautiful setting for the wedding (finley point on flathead lake!) and Kat was a stunning bride! after the wedding we hit up glacier national park for a couple days... i don't have the words to do it justice... please take a look at the photos.

back to portland on tuesday, work, clean, pack, back on the road on friday to the oregon coast. a much shorter trip (yay!) but also beautiful! had a weird, alternate universe moment - being at the beach with Matt and Jodie, but not the OBX... kind of bizarre. awesome to see them, a superfun wedding with Jake and Jackie. the setting was beautiful - the beach at sunset is hard to beat, and the reception was great! then back home on sunday, pick up Em from the airport and frolic!

then mama came the next tuesday, and alas, had to send her back home yesterday...

and somehow. it's october. i don't really know how that happened. while i am so grateful i got to see so many people in september, i'm wiped. i think i need a month to recover and regroup.

october is my get it together month. which means, i'll get it together. i'll post photos, thoughts, and possibly even be witty... you never know.

keep me honest... i'll be back in a week, tops.

We'll take a little walk/somewhere by the trees and water

2009-08-23T16:11:00.000-07:00

I don't mean to neglect you. Really, I don't. I've been all over the place. Trying to get sorted for the craziness that will be September. I'm excited, but, man, lots going on.

So, the website is up. and yes, I know, still missing a couple of pages. But overall, I've gotten good feedback and am very excited about that! Still working on getting the blog on the main site... but it's coming, don't you worry. And yes, that means then I have to update in 2 separate places... not sure how I'm going to handle that. But it is one of my september goals to be organized to sit down and update weekly!

what else, just got back from a quick trip to the olympic peninsula in washington. had some down time, so tim and i decided to go for a couple of nights. as befits the rainforest it was rainy on our drive... but once we got there there was just a fog that i found quite enjoyable! the spot we went to was lake quinault, which if you have a really good memory is the site of one of my favorite photos ever...

From the magical mystery tour

(seriously the best auto-timer photo ever!)

taken almost 2 years ago to the day (weird how that happened) this was a photo from a trip cheryl and i took to explore the pacific northwest and it's potential livability. who knew 2 years ago, that i'd be living here today...and even managed to find this lake again (which we happened upon briefly during our trip) and apparently it's a popular spot... but so beautiful! i really enjoyed the camping, exploring and swimming here... it's worth a visit if you're ever up in the olympic peninsula!

millions of photos, for sure... here are but a few.

funny how much happens that you can't anticipate... that trip two years ago seems like a lifetime ago, yet changed the course of my future. if we had never gone roadtripping, i don't know if i would have moved to portland...

which made me think about how 5 years ago i made the choice not to stay in NZ and come back to the states and go to acupuncture school. what if i had taken that job, gotten residency... what would life look like now? and while i sometimes kick myself for not staying... i can't say i regret where i'm at now. the people i know, the life i have.

but it's interesting to think about that alternate path and the possibilities that it had...

anatomyacupuncture.com is on the interwebs!

2009-08-03T12:31:00.000-07:00

so, finally, finally got the website up and running. an enormous thank you to tim for all his time and effort and technological prowess because, seriously, i couldn't have done it on my own!

anyway, please check out my site - give me feedback! i want to know!

also, many photos to come - steph came to visit, and puma is hilarious with the heat we've been having - so hopefully later this week you will get a taste of all of that :)

but for now: www.anatomyacupuncture.com and if you're not already reading it- please also check out: www.anatomyacupuncture.blogspot.com for my updates there !

cheers,
~Alexis

worth a thousand words

2009-07-20T11:48:00.000-07:00

i owe you some photos.

1) of Sara's visit. of which I do not have nearly enough of the two of us, and perhaps too many of flowers. as her visit was way too short, perhaps it's fitting. but, i miss her already. heaps. it was amazing to see her here in portland, and luckily we had pretty good weather. i got to meet her cousin (+family) and spend some time with them, as well as with Sar in alberta arts (have i mentioned how tea/coffee shops are our favorite?) and as the pictures make blatantly obvious, we visited the japanese gardens (am i obsessed much?) and the rose gardens. the irises were in bloom at the japanese gardens and it was beautiful (i swear, i didn't even post half the photos i took).

2) and more recently, i did a bit of baking (it's been awhile and the weather's been hot... but there were some recipes i just had to try!) so below, food (and no, this was all for other people, it did NOT live at my house... ) however, i must say that my acquisition of a mini-cheesecake pan is perchance my most favorite thing at the moment :) . so... recipes for this deliciousness can be found at smittenkitchen.com (thanks, Deb!).

happy (and happy 4th)

2009-07-03T21:12:00.000-07:00

Sara gets into town tonight, and i am more excited than i can express to see her and catch up over this weekend! yay!

and just because i thought i'd share some recent photos of puma (i was all about the photo-shoot, but her, notsomuch). they're not great, but some are fun, especially puma making notsohappy faces because i was incessantly harassing her.... ahhhh, cats.

and then, i remembered i took some puma photos about a year ago with the nice dSLR i was trying out...

what a difference it makes, eh? sooooo much better quality.... *sigh* one day, i'll get myself one :).

mirror, mirror on the lake....

2009-06-30T13:04:00.000-07:00

took a brief adventure to mirror lake yesterday. it was a beautiful day out, and the drive to the mt hood area was lovely. the hike was pretty short and it's odd to say this, but i think both tim and i were disappointed with the end result.

i think we were expecting something more grand (not that it wasn't a lovely day to be outside in nature), and i think, perhaps, we've been a bit spoiled by some of our other hikes.

anyway, mirror lake - so called - because on windless days you can get a gorgeous reflection of mt. hood. there was a slight wind and so the lake was not quite flat, but tim managed to get a few pictures with a reflection on it. other than that, we stopped and sat in the sun, enjoying the weather for a bit, and then headed home.

sweet summer sunshine

2009-06-27T15:19:00.000-07:00

and strawberries... seriously, they seem endless out back. and delish!

it's a gorgeous weekend here in pdx. and i got to have breakfast with the Pangs this morning, and that was a treat! I haven't seen them since I left SD, and they were on a roadtrip in a pretty pimped out RV (i think it was nicer than my house), and luckily they had time to meet for breakfast. Got them to come out to NE and we ate at The Tin Shed, one of my fave breakfast places. It's totally worth the wait on the weekend, and they even sat all 9 of us together! So great to see them, but super quick as they're on their way back down to SD after having spend a week traveling up the coast! next time, they have to spend longer in pdx and maybe drag Yuki and Emerson along :)

speaking of delish food... last night tim and i went to hang out on mississippi ave and found a cute tapas place - they had an awesome back patio area - sand, hammock chairs, fire pit, swings... and they made a damn good mojito with mango and black currant. casa naranja - i recommend it, especially on a beautiful evening, awesome hang out spot.

and because tim thinks it's all i talk about (because, well, it kind of it) i figure i would mention AGAIN how excited i am that this time next week SARA will be here! yayayayay! can't wait. 3 days isn't long enough, and she'll be spending part of that time with her cousin, but i'm selfish and want as much sar-time as i can get! hopefully the weather will continue cooperating and we can do a hike, and other than that - i suspect we'll find a tea shop and hang... yay!

the anatomy website is getting *closer* to done, i promise! soon soon!

that's all on this end, have a beautiful day!

carry me away into the woods

2009-06-20T12:06:00.000-07:00

(sheepish look). i know it's been a while. things have picked up at work, finally. which is a good thing. i'm doing my best to get the anatomy website up and running (look for it in the next couple of days) - writing content is a pain in the ass. but, i'm getting there.

in the meantime, what else can i tell you? i've been feeling pulled in a lot of directions. not sure where any of them will take me, so just checking out options. and it's exciting, but at the same time exhausting and i don't feel like i have the energy to put my all into every piece.

in exciting news, Sara is coming to visit in 2 weeks! i CANNOT wait! yay!!!! it's been ages since i've seen her and can't wait to spend time sitting in tea shops and catching up on life. (and ulterior motive, hoping to convince her pdx is the most fabulous place ever and she wants to live here so we can have an integrative practice together) but, you know, just catching up.

and last monday tim and i took a hike on the oregon side of the gorge called angel's rest... and here are some photos.

about time

2009-06-01T20:41:00.000-07:00

recently i finally got my act together and registered my LLC with the Oregon Secretary of State. this means i have my own business! yay!

so, my business is registered as: anatomy acupuncture, llc.

i have my very own website (still under construction) which you should bookmark and visit often! i am going to be putting up a blog and will have regularly updated news and health information.

for now, check it out at: www.anatomyacupuncture.com and worry not, i will be letting you know when it's up and running for real (and then pestering you to send it to everyone you know :P).

a big thank you to tim for being a technical genius and for putting up with my nonsense! :)

worthwhile reading

2009-05-31T17:17:00.001-07:00

some more reading on health care from the washington post and the new yorker. check it out if you have time.

Doctors Don't Work for You Anymore

Annals of Medicine: The Cost Conundrum: newyorker.com

It'll take more than a doctor to prescribe a remedy

2009-05-30T18:07:00.000-07:00

so. here's hoping this will be somewhat coherent, but i've got a lot of thoughts running around my head about the state of the health care system in this country and i'm going to try to put them in some sort of order. disclaimer - i am no expert, this is my personal (slightly informed) opinion - feel free to disagree.

some of what i'm thinking, i've been thinking for a long time. some of it was stirred up a bit by a rant someone in my networking group gave about the proposed change to our healthcare system - i.e. a move to nationalized health care instead of private. he was against this re-organization and made a lot of statements i didn't agree with, but a lot of people in my group did. and this is still bothering me. a lot.

the idea of universal health care appeals to me immensely on the whole, as a general concept. there is certainly more than one way of getting to this end point, lots of variations on a theme - any of which i would find preferable to the current state of affairs. currently, there are approximately 45 million people in the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA without health insurance. seriously, 45 million. and it's projected to hit 56 million in the next decade. i don't know about you, but this makes me angry, and ashamed. here we are, proposing to be the world's superpower, to be a civilized nation that brags about the "best health care in the world," and 45 MILLION people don't have insurance...which means they likely don't get the health care they need (and if they do, it's often too late and expensive and the rest of us pay for it - more on that later). so, for me, more than any of the other arguments this is the the one that gets me. it's appalling for me to think that there are people who don't care that this huge portion of our country is without basic care.

moving on. the big point that was brought up at my meeting was that if we move to a nationalized health care plan that we will still have to pay for it, and possibly pay more. he railed a bit against a single payer system saying that people who supported this didn't realize that we all would be paying for it. but the thing is, we already pay for it. we pay for private insurance, we pay hefty medical bills, we pay for the relentless paperwork and administrivia, we pay when the 45 million uninsured end up in the ER and can't pay. so yes, we would have to pay for for a single payer system - most likely in the form of taxes, but we'd all have health insurance coverage, and we'd make the system hugely more efficient. (another single payer link).

of the other points that were made against a nationalized health care plan - that you won't be able to choose the care you get (i.e. the goverment tells you what you can and can't have), that there are long wait times and that it's "just like medicare which is bankrupting this country." i don't have answers to everything, but what i can say to these points is this: that in all the nationalized/single payer (or some variation on this theme) systems that other countries have - you can still get elective surgery. yes - wait times are generally longer for this. but, what's the wait time on elective surgery for people in this country who are uninsured or underinsured... a long time, or never. so for me it's a bit of a non-argument. i don't ever think we'll be in the position where goverment will dictate what procedures you can and can't have (again, nationalized health care is not socialized medicine - the doctors are still in the private sector - they would just get paid by the government instead of your insurance company) and as it happens, half the time your insurance company dictates this anyway.

and while no system is perfect - there is certainly the possibility for change and improvement. in other countries that currently operate some sort of nationalized health care (UK, NZ, Canada) the populations report a greater satisfaction with their health care than we do here in the US. and these countries (and thereby citizens) are spending WAY less on health care than we do. and they're happier with what they get. and everyone is covered.

so along with a system like this some changes would happen in the administrative arena - clearly having a single payer simplifies things enormously. currently the amount of paper work physicians (and other health care providers) have to do to get re-imbursed is insane - not to mention if often varies from payer to payer. the administrative cost add up to some like 1/3 of all the health care costs in america - these would be dramatically reduced in a single-payer system. less time doctors have to spend on paperwork = more doctoring they can do - and that's the part they're good at. also, it is likely (and there are already proposed measures) that we would move to a electronic medical record system (EMR) which makes sharing health information much more efficient and reduces the number of redundant tests/diagnostics due to poor communication between providers. also, saves paperwork and paper (yay for the trees!). all of this makes medical records more accessible to patients and to their providers meaning care is more efficient and most likely more effective.

all this ties in with another recurring thought i've been having about health care in this country. it is SO based on reactionary care and not prevention. and i get it, prevention isn't sexy. there aren't cures, and dramatic outcomes and really, it's hard to sell. but that's because our paradigm needs to shift. and this is a whole other post... so more on that later. but with it's relation to a single payer/universal/nationalized health care system - think about it. if you have access to health care, if we ALL have access to health care - aren't we more likely to participate in prevention; to take care of ourselves because we have the resources; to stop injuries/illnesses from escalating because we can get care instead of leaving it til too late? all these things make us healthier, not only as individuals but as communities and society. if we're all taking preventative care, then we're all much less likely to get sick, and get someone else sick... it just makes so much sense. and all of this means it is SO much more cost effective...

it's a bit of a no-brainer to me. and as i said, it's not perfect, nothing is. but it is BETTER than having 45 million people uninsured and countless others under-insured. we can do better than that. we really can.

here are a couple of links to a blog (that has a lot more research and coherent writing than mine) looking much more in depth at health care costs in the US and what the systems look like in other countries (also, check out his other posts on health care systems in France, Germany, the Netherlands and Australia).

your thoughts?

i got a pocket/a pocket full of sunshine

2009-05-18T21:28:00.001-07:00

...namaste...

2009-05-13T11:19:00.000-07:00

so, while i realized that i love yoga, i didn't realize how much i missed having yoga in my life! i went to a yoga class last night for the first time in ages...probably a year. it felt so good! especially after training earlier in the day. and it just reminded me how important taking time for myself is, and that, personally, i do need the balance that yoga and meditation bring to my life.

finding that place is hard for me, because at the end of the day, i want to go home and eat dinner and hang out with tim and puma, but despite getting home late, it was a very good use of my time and i felt really good for it, even though i'd been up since 5.30am. so, a new goal of mine is to try and make AT LEAST one yoga class a week, though i'd like it to be more...we'll get there.

on another note of taking the time and doing things for myself - tim and i went on a 24 hour excursion to silver falls state park (about an hour and a half away), we left on sunday afternoon after i finished work and got in, stayed in a little cabin and spent most of the evening sitting on the porch listening to the rain fall. it was AWESOME. we got up the next morning and explored the state park - we followed the canyon trail, or the trail of ten falls and walked all along the park. the walk itself wasn't difficult, but the scenery was beyond gorgeous and so knowing me and my photo-happy self it took ages. i also can't wait to go back another time with a better camera. we were lucky in that the weather called for rain, but it only did a little in the morning and then mostly cleared up. the temperature was perfect for hiking in, and everything was glowing and green! next time we go (and we will, though maybe not in the summer as it gets crazy busy over there) there are some other trails i'd love to check out.

anyway, here are your photos!

they say it's your birthday...

2009-04-23T16:55:00.000-07:00

april has FLOWN by, i don't even know where to start (is it bad that mostly that's because i'm not sure i remember? ha). but, seriously, i can't believe that we're heading into may shortly, that i've lived in portland for just about 7 months... it amazes me.

most recently we have had absolutely phenomenal weather, sunny and clear - we had a couple days of 80+ degree weather, and the city just came alive! lucky for tim, it was over his birthday so we managed to spend a bit of time in the outdoors and celebrate! we hung out in alberta, explored kelly point park, wandered around downtown and most notably kayaked on the willamette! it couldn't have been a more perfect day for kayaking, sunny and warm, not too much river traffic, a private tour with an awesome guide (thanks jeff!). i LOVE being on the water, and it was such a different perspective, seeing the city from the river instead of the river from the city. all those bridges i love, i got to see from underneath...it gave me flashbacks to crew and rowing under key bridge (and how i always wished i had my camera). anyway, see below for a few photos of birthday activities!

in addition we also went to see christopher guest, michael mckean, and harry shearer (of spinal tap, best in show, a mighty wind - fame) as they stopped in portland on their tour - and it was hilarious, lots of laughs, i would recommend going to see them if you can!

here comes the sun

2009-04-06T20:31:00.000-07:00

as promised... photos from last week's adventure on the coast... we headed out to Astoria, it was a bit overcast, but still beautiful. Astoria, as any child of the 80's knows, is home to the Goonies. It was a trip being there and seeing it... and if you don't know, Astoria is the northernmost coastal town in OR. After Astoria we headed down to Warrenton, where there is an old British ship that is in ruins on the beach...and then out to clatsop spit where the Columbia river meets the Pacific ocean. beautiful!

and here, since i am clearly in withdrawl from cherry blossoms, it was a gorgeous day - so tim and i went out to the willamette and did some hanging out in the waterfront park

they were nothing more than people, by themselves...

2009-04-05T09:54:00.000-07:00

Even paired, any pairing, they would have been nothing more that people by themselves. But all together, they become the heart and the muscles and mind of something perilous and new, something strange and growing and great. Together, all together, they are the instruments of change.
-Keri Hulme, "The Bone People"

Currently I am sitting at the OAAOM (Oregon Association of Acupuncture and Oriental Medicine) Conference. and it's interesting as this is Oregon's new professional organization - they have had some reorganization in the past year and combined to previously existing organizations into this one. So, their theme is unification with this whole phoenix rising imagery. and at the membership meeting yesterday we were talking about the history of Acupuncture in Oregon and how it has progressed - and lots of current legislative issues that affect the practice of medicine and acupuncture here in Oregon. and what was interesting to me (being a bit of an outsider at this point, having no history of being a practitioner nor being an Oregon resident) was just the re-iteration by many of the speakers of how as a profession we have to join together, to get ourselves to the table for discussion let alone to be heard. and i think it's promising. there's a lot going on in the world right now, in our country - in healthcare - and there's a lot of change. On the board this morning was a quote from Barack Obama "Change will not come if we wait for some other time. We are the ones we 've been waiting for, we are the change that we seek" which, of course is more than reminiscent of Ghandi's "be the change you wish to see in the world" but also reminded me very much of that quote above by Keri Hulme...

anyway, just my thought of the morning... back to treatment of Hep C. and later, photos from our trip to the coast last weekend...

that would be ecstasy/you and me...

2009-03-21T22:04:00.000-07:00

*sigh*

i'm a happy girl. :) and how could i not be? i've had a lovely last few weeks; i had a chill but lovely birthday... tim so kindly made me delicious lamb chops, heard from lots of friends and family (thank you all, it's been busy and i apologize for not getting back to you), mama came to visit and we had a great time, work has been going well... and well, i *just* received my awesome birthday gift from tim...

she's so pretty... i think i'm in love <3!

thank you, tim (not that you haven't heard it already). but i *love* my mixer! as fate would have it - i started a detox the day the mixer arrived, but worry not - it has absolutely NOT stopped me from using it, just from eating the results! yay! mixer!

other than that - it's starting to be spring for real now, the weather is warming up, the flowers are coming out, and we went hiking (well, sort of)... today, at beacon rock on the washington side of the columbia river gorge...

this was a neat little walk, it was built by two people over a two year period in the early 1900s...crazy! but awesome views, even in the drizzle :)

And February was so long that it lasted into March...

2009-03-02T19:53:00.000-08:00

...And found us walking a path alone together.
You stopped and pointed and you said, "Thats a crocus,"

i think it might *actually* be spring! walking around today, there ARE crocuses (croci?) and shoots that will soon become daffodils and irises! *contented sigh* i heart spring, it has been years since i've gotten to experience it. love it! and (i know i know i know i know) i've been a bad girl. february was... well, not spent at my computer. long stories short: moving, visiting SD, moving tim, stuck in snow, moving in, getting internet, working lots and here we are in march!

oh. you actually wanted details? hmmmm. well, i moved to a new place still in NE, but a little closer to town and walking distance to the Alberta arts area. I am absolutely loving both the house and location. here are a few pix of move-in, before the arrival of tim and furniture.

went down to SD for a couple of days, got to see lots of my very much missed friends. it was wonderful, thank you everyone for taking the time to see me and catch up! it was WAYYYYY too short, and i'm sorry i didn't have more time. but i miss and love you all heaps, and can't wait for you to visit pdx!

then tim and i drove (for the 2nd time in 6 months) from SD to PDX. however, this time we did not take the scenic tour, but headed straight up on 5N. we did have a bit of snow adventure, and were 'stuck' in Mt Shasta for a day with a bunch of snow. see following evidence:

and that's it for now, kids... more post-move-in, and mom visit after next week!

i teeter between tired/and really, really tired/ i'm wiped out and wired/ but i guess thats just as well

2009-01-30T22:45:00.000-08:00

(thanks ani, couldn't say it any better.)

wiped out and wired. what i am dreaming of is a long HOT bath, a bottle of white wine, and a really comfortable bed. (ahhhh, sorry to disappoint any of you who might think my fantasies were anything but pedestrian.) i'm sitting here, on my thai mat on the floor (aka my bed) and thinking that sleep could possibly be the greatest drug in the world, if only i could get a fix.

lacking any of the above (bath, wine, bed or sleep) i figured i'd write. or type and see if it passes as writing. so, despite my previous promise to write more about things other than my own internal drama (as, i do in fact think about more global topics) tonight, you'll have to indulge me as re-process some thoughts and conversations i've had this past week.

had a really long talk with em the other day (thank you my love, you ARE my soul mate, i'd be lost without you in my life). as per usual we talk a lot about nothing, and somehow i got to talking about how i've been here just about 5 months now, and i have no friends here. sure, i have people i do things with occasionally (trivia, game night) but, i'd be hard-pressed to actually say any of them are really *my* friends. friends by proxy perhaps... and this is not to say i don't enjoy their company, i absolutely do. but, i would be hard pressed to say i felt comfortable calling any of them up to go for a hike or grab some tea and chat...etc. and i know, i know this stuff takes time, (way more than 5 months time), but it brought me to the question of HOW exactly does one make friends? no, really. it's a serious question (and i would appreciate any advice on the matter) - when you're not in school, and you live in a new place, how do you make friends? so, there's work. which is good, i LOVE the people i work with, but it's work, and while i wouldn't mind hanging with them in a non-work context, they have families and lives and yeah... i don't know. and then, well, that's really all i do. and i am hoping in a couple of months when work gets more stable, i will have time to commit to volunteering somewhere, taking yoga classes or cooking classes, etc... but, right now. notsomuch.

and as far as the work thing goes, had a short talk with brad (owner of tri-d) today - he was asking me how things were going and i said they were going well, slowly, but getting there. and that i really love working there and hope to make it worth their while, i hope it turns out to be a good thing for them too, and that's been my recent frustration - i feel kind of inadequate, that i'm not making good enough numbers, etc. he said that both he and michael (my supervisor) were really happy i was there, and they thought i was doing a great job, and just to keep it up and things would happen. (did i mention i love where i work?)

and, on another note... i'm moving tomorrow. (perhaps why i can't sleep). i'm all packed and totally ready to move. am meeting the landlord at 10 to trade lease +rent for keys, and then i am hoping i can get everything moved tomorrow and sorted as i work sunday morning and have been told by bjorn i am expected at anke and marcel's superbowl shindig. that being said, i will do my best to take photos (of the empty place) and post shortly but not sure when the internet will be connected, so i may be MIA for a few days...

and before signing off... a quick shoutout to some of the most wonderful aquarius ladies in my life: ems, nancy, barbara... happiest happy birthdays, i hope you are celebrating your fabulous selves, as i celebrate each of you in my life! MWAH!

the future's in the air/i can feel it everywhere/ blowing with the wind of change

2009-01-19T16:41:00.000-08:00

i wish i had something to say about this historic moment in the history of this nation. but i'm finding my words, let alone my thoughts, to be inadequate. at the moment i'm content to be an observer, to be a witness, without explanation or discourse.

speaking of wind though. i went hiking on saturday as it's been beautiful and sunny up here in oregon. so, i decided to hit the columbia river gorge in the sunshine (as previous pictures can attest to it's often in cloud). this time i decided to mix it up and head over to the washington side of the gorge. found a great hike, but didn't make it far because much of the track was exposed and right on the river and the winds were CRAZY. i took a couple photos before i backtracked and found a different, slightly more sheltered hike nearby.

(i'm pretty sure i took these all with my eyes closed, because the wind was too strong)

the columbia river in the sunshine!
(apologies for blur, but closed eyes and unsteady hand in the wind...)

so after that, i retreated and found another nearby hike (which can actually join up with this one if on future occasions i am up to the wind tunnel that is the gorge). lots of winter (i.e. bare) tree action. but blue skies and some pretty views...

(oh and T- 13 days til i move...)

and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms...

2009-01-16T18:43:00.000-08:00

i cannot believe it's the middle of january.

i'm not sure when that happened. also, it's been BEAUTIFUL here, sunny and clear. apparently this is one freak-show of a winter for portland. but, i'm not complaining!

so far the new year has been continuing on pretty well. work is going, slowly, but going. been trying to do a lot of this networking business, which is not really my style, but needs to be done. though, in regards to that - i got rejected from a networking group, HA! i am totally amused.

been doing a lot of thinking lately, and not nearly enough writing. there are some things i'd like to write about regarding health care and various paradigms, but i haven't managed to sit down and do it. i've been feeling like my brain has all these thoughts but i am somehow unable to put them together as a cohesive whole. but, writing more on broader topics than what i do in my day is a goal of mine for the coming months. however, for now, you're stuck with this.

the middle of january means i move in two weeks. and while i don't have that much stuff, and there's a lot still in boxes, somehow the thought is still overwhelming to me. i cannot wait to be in my new place and simultaneously am dreading the actual process of moving (didn't i just do this?). however, it will be nice to fully unpack and settle a bit. but, that probably doesn't happen for real til tim and i get back from SD.

am SO excited to visit san diego and see all my friends. (i'm living in serious friend xu right now!) am feeling slightly guilty that it is under the auspices of helping tim pack and move, but more than likely will end up being mostly a social event as i have many people to catch up with (sorry tim!). while excited, i am slightly exhausted from thinking about my social schedule already...hehehe.

got to catch up with with emily and sara in the past 24 hours, and talked lots. (i love you ladies more than words) a lot about how there are just so many questions we don't have the answers for. and don't know if anyone does. however, i think the asking of them is still important. but sometimes the preponderance of questions is disconcerting and ungrounding and the ability to let go into that space of being comfortable with uncertainty is extremely difficult. it is such a reflex to reach out and try and grab a hold of some bit of a notion that we convince ourselves of as being an answer. it's so easy to long for something finite and for reassurance and so hard to sit with the ever expanding body of not-knowing and not feel completely lost. during this discussion sara reminded me of one of my very favorite quotes with which i shall leave you:

"...have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer..."

- Ranier Maria Rilke

Year's End

2009-01-03T21:22:00.000-08:00

...is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on,
with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.
-Hal Borland

this time of year is meant for reflection, is it not? so... on my day off, some reflection you shall get. i don't promise deep or meaningful, or even particularly insightful for that matter - but here goes...

it's funny, i started this particular blog just about a year ago, last january and while i think i'd use some of the adjectives to describe my life currently, somehow they've taken on a slightly different flavor. i was in my last term of school 3 months away from completion of a four year degree. re-reading some of those earlier entries, i couldn't believe where i was - it was surreal, an ending of something that felt endless. and there was excitement and of course anxiety about what was to come. i couldn't wait to finish school, to start the next phase of life, but i was scared about boards, about my competance, about if i would have what it took to have a practice, about finances, about moving... but all these things were still abstract, intangible, and i was unable to hold them concretely and so felt a bit like i was falling.

and here i am, about a year later. i have since graduated. passed boards. moved to portland. became licensed. started a practice. so in some ways, much of what i was anticipating has come to pass, and all with remarkable fluidity. i've been here in portland for four months, and sometimes i can't believe it's been that long, but for the most part it makes me stop and think "really? that's it?" somehow in the short four months i've been here i feel so much more that i belong, more than i ever did my four years in san diego. and maybe some of that was self-fulfilling prophecy, that i thought moving out to san diego, it would never be for me. but honestly, there's such a different feeling here, a different qi - and i really like it. and while life looks entirely different than it did a year ago (i made it here! i have a practice! i love portland!) i think my 2 favorite adjectives to describe my life are still excited and slightly terrified.

i haven't for a second regretted my decision to move, on the contrary - most everyday there is something that makes me smile, and feel so glad i'm here. i think i was stuck in SD, somehow it was stagnant for me, and here there's free flow - there's a coursing energy that permeates everything, and the rain that continually washes the city clean, keeps everything flowing. and GREEN. *sigh* it makes me smile just writing that. i miss my friends terribly, and have certainly had hard days and weeks... before i found my current jobs. earlier this week... some days i acutely feel the loss of not having people i know locally. and i know, i KNOW this stuff takes time, and while i am aware of this - some days it just hits hard.

currently my excitement is over work - i LOVE what i do, everyday. i really and truly do! and absolutely adore all my colleagues at Tri-D, they are just awesome, and i can't be grateful enough to have a place like that to work. not to mention, work out... have been training with Mox, and it's been great! aside from that stuff, am super excited about moving to my own place next month... (i signed papers today!!!) it's in a great location, lots of space, my own kitchen! YAY! and i guess, really i should qualify that - it's not really my OWN place, as tim is moving up and it will be his place too (and clearly, actually, it's really Puma's) and i am very excited about that part of it too!

and then there's the terrified... about making work, "work". building a practice is HARD, and that's fine, but i worry about being good enough, about knowing what i am doing, about getting enough patients... i worry about making friends, finding community... i worry about living with tim - if he'll like the place i picked, if we'll live together well... i worry about paying off loans and making my finances work.

so, it's just funny to me, to be in such a different place, yet in some ways a wholly similar one. that being said, i do feel much more grounded and stable than i have in a long time, and think that upon moving next month, will feel even more so.

and hal borland is right, year's end is neither an ending nor a beginning, but a going on. new year's does not mark some distinct time segment, isolating one year from the last - it just marks the going on of time. and while that means there is no "starting over" (and i know this may come as a big disappointment to some people), the slate doesn't magically wipe clean, we're not all brand new people each year (thankfully!) but it is a going on, and what makes that special is that like mr. borland says - we have all the wisdom that the past year's experience has given us. and it is our choice how to use that. none of us are the same people we were 12 months ago, or for that matter a day ago (an interesting link here to TCM theory, but that's another post) but as we often use this time for reflection - let us look back at our experiences and figure out how to use that wisdom to our benefit in the coming year...to keep learning (especially about ourselves) and growing, and not starting over with nothing, but continuing to the shape the person we are into who we want to be.

and that, my friends, is a post that is more than long enough. my best wishes for the coming year to you all - may it be happy, healthy, prosperous and full of laughter and love!

..i'm going to pack my things and go...

2008-12-31T15:12:00.001-08:00

in a month that is.

as of Feb 1, 2009, i will have yet ANOTHER new address! (that puts me at 3 in the past year, whoo hooo!)

5337 NE 33rd Ave
Portland, OR 97211

nothing is official yet, i sign papers on saturday, but YAY!

and, clearly, when i move in next month there will be many more photos, but as people are still living there, i'd like to not be considered a stalker :P

anyway, that's the big news of the day... i may make the effort to write some sort of introspective reflection on the past year later, we'll see...ha!

happy new year :*

when it snows, ain't it thrilling?

2008-12-22T16:48:00.000-08:00

as the news likes to call it - we're in the middle of arctic blast '08... apparently portland hasn't had this much december snow in at least 40 years. awesome.

but, actually, i am enjoying it immensely, makes me smile... not having had winter in 5 years, this is a novel experience again. and also, quite pretty.

anyway, some more assorted snow photos!

and we'd drop to sleep exhausted/then we'd wake up and it's snowing

2008-12-20T10:52:00.000-08:00

SNOW!

i know what you're thinking here: snow? in portland? alexis, we all know it rains there but snow? and you're excited? why?

ha. well, i haven't had winter in a good 5 years so i find the snow lovely! and we've had snow off and on for just about a week now and it's supposed to continue for another week... it started last sunday - pretty heavy snow and so called it a day indoors and decided to bake! i made some vanilla-cranberry coffee cake muffins from a recipe off smitten kitchen - and they were delish, and it was superfun to use my new cuisinart handheld blender small kitchen appliance! (thanks mama!)

and the rest of the week kind of went that way, snow again wed and thurs... didn't go into work on thursday because the morning snow was a little bit crazy here in NE. but it warmed up later in the day and was actually sunny out before the temps dropped again and everything got icy! woke up to more snow this morning, and while it's a pain in the ass to get stuff done in, i have to say i'm enjoying it immensely ... sooo pretty. though puma totally freaked out the first time she was watching the snow out the window - hilarious! ohhhhhh puma :)

so at the moment, am sitting in my favorite coffee shop having had a lovely breakfast here after going to look at a rental house nearby (am looking to move in feb, when tim gets up to pdx) - so, starting that whole process again!

and that's the update... minus all the stuff you missed since thanksgiving... lol, see the pictures below - some from tgiving and some from the Tri-D holiday party!

thanksgiving, the non-pie edition (still minus emily's photos):

Tri-D holiday party (these are the lovely people i work with... but don't be scared, there was a facial hair competition going on...)

love and *.*snow*.*

tastes so good makes a grown man cry/sweet cherry pie*

2008-12-02T13:25:00.000-08:00

*disclaimer, there is no cherry pie*

ok.

wow.

thanksgiving was...

chaos.

good chaos. but chaos nonetheless (as per usual). it was a whirlwind several days - lots and lots of baking to do and people to see! it was great to be home and the new kitchen was beautiful AND functional! hooray! got to catch up with lots of friends and see family, it was good to be home. also wandered around DC a bit with tim. but more than that there was PIE. lots and lots of PIE.

now am back in portland, and this week is starting off kind of slow... lots of cancellations (don't know what is up with that) and i am exhausted. but, things are good - and i am happy to be back and hang with my puma (who yelled at me excessively upon my return).

mostly, i just want to say how great it was to see everyone - mike and sarah, emily, karen, grace, dida, clint, patric, meg, jen, eric and meryl, min and matt, ivone, laura, miori and of course the fam: mama, craig, amy, natalie, david and the kitties :)

more tgiving pix when emily gets around to sending me photos :P

thanksgiving

2008-11-29T16:33:00.000-08:00

For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

updates later, and this belated thanksgiving to all those people in my life who make it more than worthwhile. thank you for everything you do.

go now, and live

2008-11-18T11:03:00.001-08:00

just came across this... and like it. a lot.

down by the river

2008-11-17T15:29:00.000-08:00

had a great week last week! it's so much fun doing acupuncture - i love it! have met some really wonderful people at Awakening Lotus, the patients are great and there are some interesting cases. Signed papers over at Tri-D and am excited to get started there! Lots of the learning the ropes this coming week before I head east for tgiving!

it's been a beautiful last few days and bjorn and i got to hiking on saturday - we went up to washington to hike the Lewis river trail. it was so pretty! a pretty mild hike, but awesome river with some raging falls - it was so great to get out and enjoy the autumn!

today was a good catch-up day for me, tied up some loose ends and have just 2 patients to treat tonight!

i am getting SO excited for thanksgiving, mama has already started food shopping and i am sure the baking schedule will be published soon :P i am excited to bake, to see the new kitchen, to see my family, to see old friends and to show tim DC! so much to do!

i'm feeling supersonic/give me gin and tonic/you can have it all, but how much do you want it?

2008-11-09T10:46:00.000-08:00

what a week.

what a fucking amazing week.

i am not even really sure where to start. (at the beginning?)

monday i went for an interview for an acupuncture position that ended in me treating 2 patients - it was so much fun! loved the center, and joey - the woman i would be sub-contracting for and covering her patients while she's away - is awesome.

then clearly election night, in my opinion went the way i had been hoping (minus that nasty prop 8 passing thing in CA, ugh) and bjorn and i went over to jake and jackie's to bite our nails in anticipation! thanks for the invite guys, it was super fun! :)

then friday is really where everything got exciting - went back to Tri-D fitness and therapy - where i had interviewed a couple of times, and met with the owner and they were great and really want me to have a position there as well. it's a neat place where i would be doing both bodywork and acupuncture - but treating mostly motor vehicle accident patients and athletes, so ideal for me and wanting to do orthopedics! so, i haven't officially accepted the position but will do so tomorrow. and then friday afternoon joey called me and asked me to cover her patients - so i treated 5 people, and rebooked for next week (to see me, as joey will be away).

ok, so i know i am all over the place, and maybe you can't hear the smile in my writing. i don't even really know how to explain how it feels to be doing what i've been thinking about for SO long... to be doing something I LOVE DOING and getting paid for it. i mean, really? you can do that? ha! it's just awesome! i am on such a high, i can't even tell you. at some point i will try to sit down and write something more coheseive...but right now, so pumped.

got to meet up with zach last night for tea (and beer) - we went to PCOM together and he graduated maybe a year before me, and is living here in portland with his wife, and has a practice - so it was cool to catch up and i think we're going to set up a trade!

oh, and i quit the stupid spa job as of today!

so for all of the above and more life is good right now, and only getting better...

i'm a happy girl this week.

oh, links to my 2 places of work: Awakening Lotus Healing Arts Center, and Tri-D Fitness and Therapy

VOTE!

2008-11-04T08:44:00.000-08:00

this is going to be a crazy day for this country, one way or the other. i am not much one for politics and have never been particularly involved. however, i do believe that the right to vote is an extraordinarily precious freedom despite many of my objections to actual politicians. i think that the right to vote is part of what defines america and should be something we all do with pride. whether you love this country or hate it, if you are an american citizen, please use your VOTE to speak your mind - it is your voice.

while i don't think our system is perfect and there is potential for fraud and disenfranchizement, don't be disheartened, please VOTE. it's important. to quote rachel maddow:

"It's one thing to worry about the vote being stolen. About whether or not our votes really get counted right. It's one thing to worry about partisan Republican efforts to purge voters off the rolls who rightfully belong there. Those things are worth worrying about. But the lines at voting places. There's no wondering about that. If you are confronted with a long line on election day, your country needs you to commit to stand in it. If you are an employer and your employees are late to work on Tuesday or have to leave early in order to vote, your country needs you to cut them some slack. If you're an elections official, your country needs you to have contingency plans to your contingency plans, and frankly probably a stockpile of paper ballots under lock and key to turn to if the lines are so long as to be disenfranchising. And if you are a politician, your country needs you to abolish this poll tax, to make the right to vote equally available to every American regardless of our ability to pay whether that payment is in cash, or in time. No matter who gets elected it is time to fix this election season, this election system once and for all. Too many people bled for this right for us to see it squandered."

see her clip on 'the new poll tax' here

luckily, standing on line is not a worry of mine, as oregon does ALL of it's voting by mail. originally i had some issues with this, it just didn't feel right - no going to a polling center, standing in line with others all out to vote, no having my own election booth and filling out a vote, depositing my ballot and getting an "i voted" sticker... seems odd! but, the more i have thought about it and in line with rachel maddow's thought on the new poll tax (i.e. the time it costs to stand on line...etc) i think i like this voting by mail deal. oregon was the first state in the US to go to a vote by mail system in 1998 - this system has significantly reduced the cost of elections and truly allows all registered voters the chance to vote, despite their physical condition (if they are unable to stand on long lines or are in a hospital, etc), work requirements (maybe they can't afford to take the time off work to vote, despite going early - the lines might still be long) or any other unforeseen circumstances that may not allow a person to make it to the actual voting booth. no, voting by mail is NOT perfect - but it does allow for the greatest number of registered voters to actually vote. and while everyone may not agree that voting by mail is better, in the very least election day should be a national holiday - so we can all take the time to exercise our right to vote not at the expense of our jobs.

while i have my views on the candidates and certainly have a preference for who should win this election, i want EVERYONE who CAN to VOTE. no matter who you vote for. please, CARE - this is our country, and while it is not perfect, it is ours. apathy gets us nowhere. so please whomever you support, whatever your reasons for voting - JUST VOTE.

the falling leaves drift by the window/the autumn leaves of red and gold

2008-10-27T14:21:00.000-07:00

can i just say that i ABSOLUTELY ADORE AUTUMN!

(it's true.)

autumn in portland is turning out to be just spectacular and i had a plan to walk around today and take pictures because right now because the trees are stunning and in full transition - the color palate is vibrant and varied, the deep deep red, the golden yellow, fiery oranges and just a few tinges of green ... and i did bring the camera when i left the house and the battery, but neglected to bring a memory card... so, perhaps tomorrow (if you're lucky).

right now i'm at this awesome little tea shop in NW, a beautiful part of town - lots of brick buildings and old victorians which somehow make me almost feel like i'm back in maine with the changing colors and leaves starting to fall... and the temperature is mild, and the sky is blue... we've been having such a lovely season. and maybe i am overly gushy as i haven't had an autumn in 4 years, and while i know i miss spring desperately when i don't get it, i don't think i realized how much i adore the transition from summer to winter. for another look at autumn from a chinese medicine perspective, please read this.

right, so i'm in this tea shop, and i am here because i went into work for 2 hours today (work? you say, alexis, i didn't know you got a job!) and this is true. it's not something i've shared, because mostly i try not to think about it - i'm living in denial that in fact i am working there part-time. i don't want to dwell on it - but it's a part-time job at a spa, and that's all i am willing to say. more on the job-front, i interviewed last week for a massage position with very possible expansion into acupuncture at a very interesting personal training facility that also does massage and movement therapy. they want to build their therapy department and treat a lot of motor vehicle accident patients. much more my style than the current gig, so i hope to hear back from them this week. additionally, i have an interview for an acupuncture position scheduled for tomorrow, so wish me luck and send good thoughts that we all like each other and that it works out!

so, that's the latest on this end. back to mama's visit - we had a lovely weekend, decent weather and got out to the gorge, the japanese gardens, and around town. it was a quick 3 days but so great to see mama and have her visit portland for the first time. below are some pictures of the gorge (again, but in sunshine this time!) and i am awaiting photos from mama's camera. thank you for everything mama, MWAH!

and, can you believe it's 4 weeks til i will be back east for thanksgiving? it's going so quickly! but i am excited for the new kitchen and for the days of baking that thanksgiving entails! though, the next 4 weeks might go a little more slowly as i have no more visitors scheduled :(. on the thanksgiving note, i also managed to coerce tim into coming back east with me - i feel like he should experience a true thanksgiving... miori can attest to it :) and also, perhaps, he wanted to see DC...

and now - i should go be productive!

represent

2008-10-24T10:14:00.000-07:00

i've been a bit slack on posting, will catch up over the weekend re: mom's visit, etc.

but in the meantime, check out the bowdoin love on grey's anatomy

(hat-tip to court)

not all who wander are lost

2008-10-12T23:14:00.000-07:00

but i sure as hell was. it was another gorgeous day here in northern oregon. and so i figured since it's supposed to be one of the last beautiful weekends before winter sets in i might as well get out and do something. found an awesome hike to do (vista ridge to owl point) even though it was kind of a ways out. actually, not too far from where tim and i had been camping. so i read the directions and had mapped out a route, was making good time when i came to split in the road, and this was expected, however the way i was supposed to go was VERY unfinished road, HUGE potholes and i tried it for .3 miles, and wasn't sure i could even turn around and get back, it was AWFUL. so i figured that was it, turn around, go home. but a road nearby said to "lost lake" and i'd read about a short hike there so i figured why not?

thus far the day was spectacular and the views had been nothing short of that as well. so i followed yet another unnamed national forest development road. never made to lost lake. ended up on a road that should have gone to the trail i wanted in the first place. eventually made it to the trailhead, albeit much later than i originally intended.

i don't even have words for the trail, unbelievable. not too long, moderately strenuous. the views were UNREAL. as you will see below, there are more pictures of mt hood than anyone actually ever wants to see (and this isn't all of them!)

unfortunately given the late start of my hike, i didn't have time to hang around at owl point - would be a great spot for a picnic, wanted to journal a bit, but had to get back to the car and hopefully off the mountain roads before dark!

was happily following my gps home (avoiding the scary evil road) when according to the gps there was a road and according to the road there was a river. that was interesting. eventually sorted another way home, but ADVENTURE!

look at some maps when i got home, and found the crazy route that i took through the mts...

(blue is the way there, red the way back, and the turquoise markers are the start and end pts of the hike, the blue markers are where the road ended due to a river and i had to re-route)

i am definitely going to feel this all tomorrow - am already icing my knee... it's not used to the rigors of the outdoors. but the hike was most definitely worth it despite being lost in the mountains, and giving my knees a hard time!

and the colors are much brighter now/it's like they really want to tell the truth...

2008-10-11T17:48:00.000-07:00

don't have much to report. went to eagle creek today and did a bit of hiking.

oh, and i think i'm in love with oregon :)

in the misty morning hours she calls to me

2008-10-10T11:15:00.000-07:00

ok, here's the recap of the past week... tim came up to visit by train all the way from san diego, a formidable task of 35+ hours. not to mention the huge delay at everybody's favorite, klamath falls. so, he arrived late last wednesday night, and we did all sorts of exploring around portland for the next week!

highlights include: powell's, washington park, japanese garden, rogue brewpub, belmont and hawthorne areas, the pearl district, crossing the washington state line, winning trivia for the 2nd week in a row, voodoo donut, park blocks, but probably the best part of the trip was our jaunt along the columbia river gorge and camping out at hood river.

we took off on a misty morning and drove along the historic columbia river highway, the views of the river and gorge looked like something out of a movie set. the low clouds, the intense greens... it was almost jurassic park. (minus the velociraptors of course). all along the gorge there are various waterfalls that we stopped at, did a little bit of hiking and took way too many photos.

as you can see, words don't really do this justice. it was just SO GORGEOUS. the green, the water, the moss... *sigh* it makes me SO happy that i get to live here. it is surreal in a way. anyway, i don't remember the names of all the falls we went to, but i tried to label them if i did. multnomah falls is the big one, it has a drop of 620 feet or so... very cool.

we headed along the gorge about 60 miles outside portland and then followed the hood river a bit til we got to tucker park. and we camped there, right on the river. it was awesome. the campsite was nice and wooded and waking up to river in the morning was such a treat. we explored the river banks a bit... a little bit of rock scrambling, and then took the scenic route home and got to see some pretty autumn leaves and a few nice views of mt hood.

and here are a couple videos from camp:

i had such a great time exploring and finding new fun places with tim (thanks so much for visiting!) and mostly just hanging out and getting to know oregon with him. hopefully the similarities to english weather didn't put him off too much, and he'll be back to visit again soon :P

and now that tim is back in san diego, i am once again left to my own devices... still working on the job thing, but have a couple of leads. as you saw in my last post, my license came through, so i am trying to work on my future regarding that. cross your fingers that something good will come up soon :)

on another exciting note, mama is coming to visit in a week! yay! (i know, it's like i run a hotel here or something...)

legalize it

2008-10-09T11:02:00.000-07:00

this has been a fabulous and fun week, lots of photos and stories to share from tim's visit, but before i get that together and organized, i wanted to share the following:

FINALLY! i am legal! i got my license in the mail the other day, so I am officially an Acupuncturist with the state of Oregon! YAY!

more later,
Alexis Goldstein, L.Ac.

...drums...

2008-09-29T18:37:00.000-07:00

KATRIN IS GETTING MARRIED!!!!

congrats, kat! i'm so excited for you and jake!

lovelovelove!

how could i forget to mention/the bicycle is a good invention

2008-09-28T19:57:00.000-07:00

and no. i don't have one of my own yet. have to work on that.

this past week... more disappointment on the work front. had a few interviews, wasn't really feeling it. didn't get the job i preferred. got offered a job i *really* don't want, so i declined, but that was hard as well. so, still looking... and waiting on my license...

also hung out with nick a couple days this past week, just chilling and exploring portland. nick and i went to PCOM together but had never actually spoken to each other, and he moved up here the same time i did and is in the same sort of situation... so, it was cool to hang out and explore together.

yesterday bjorn and i headed out to rickreall (about an hour away) to watch mason race in the rickeall open (a cyclo-cross race) it was a gorgeous day out, and ryan's farm was an awesome place to have it. superfun to watch, the course went around the farm and hazelnut orchard and through the woods, and there were some neat features like ladders and the over/under. it was a little dusty out in the sun, but lots of excitement, and of course, a few wipe-outs. then a bunch of stayed the night and camped out on ryan's yard (or couch) - thank you ryan!

other than that, am planning on heading to the small business administration tomorrow morning to see if they can give me some guidance on starting my own business... seemed like a good idea. and then, of course, the excitement of my week is that tim is coming to visit! he's taking the train up from san diego (i know, it's a looooong ride) and will be here wednesday. yay! :)

oh, i forgot, our team WON trivia thursday night! whooo hoo! thanks jake and jackie!

...i am not a pretty girl/that is not what i do...

2008-09-21T15:37:00.000-07:00

we'll do this week in reverse. so hold on to your seats ladies and gentlemen...

in regards to the title (an ani classic) i spent yesterday watching both a women's rugby game (thank you allison for the invite!) and roller derby. and not to imply they weren't actually pretty in the least, but 'pretty' certainly isn't what these ladies do. they're out there getting dirty, playing rough and it just made me think a lot about these absolutely athletic women who are out there competing in sport but also having a ton of fun. they were so real, and full of passion and fire and comeraderie.... and, i miss that. watching both these events (and if you've never seen either, you should see both), watching these women on these teams made me realize how much i want to be a part of something... something that challenges me physically and mentally, something that gives me that rush, something that requires teamwork - the necessary support of others for anyone to sucessful.

picking up and moving...being here without a local network, without anyone who really knows me, without someone to call to go hiking or hit the town on a saturday night, i feel kind of... very on my own. which has it's moments for sure. and i know the rest will come, it takes time, but watching those women yesterday made me realize, acutely, how great it is to have that. i think about my rugby team at bowdoin, and i don't know what i would have done without those girls - it was such an amazing group of ladies, and some of my best friends came out of playing rugby. i just feel so lucky to have experienced that, to have been a part of something like that... and i hope to do it again. though, since i've been effectively banned from rugby, i'm not sure how this will manifest... perhaps roller derby is in my future? (i'd clearly need to learn how to rollerskate first!)

back to the rewind, i went to the rugby with allison, whom i met on wednesday night courtesy of spencer (whom i met thanks to rachael who works with mom). anyway, spencer was so sweet and organized a little get together at blue moon where i got to meet him and a bunch of his friends, have a few beers and hang out. everyone was really friendly and welcoming, and it was nice to get out of the house and chill with some people (albeit strangers!). anyway, allison and i got to talking, and she's a physical therapist and somehow rugby came up and one of her friends had a game sat, so i tagged along to watch :) so fun to watch live rugby!

the roller derby was a bit of a surprise, i got a call from scott (who i don't know) who is a friend of bjorn's (who is out of town) and he had some extra tickets, and i had nothing else to do with my saturday night so i headed down to the expo center and watched some roller derby! it was a whole other world, i have never seen it, so there was a bit of a learning curve, but definitely fun to watch and both of portland's teams won, so that was exciting! thanks scott!

so, let's get all the social stuff out of the way... on thursday i met up with jake kamins and his girlfriend jackie for trivia night at a bar in NE. it was great to see them both again, and actually chat a little, and trivia was fun - i even got a few things right, ha! and a welcome distraction to a not-so-great day.

had a few interviews this past week, which i thought went really well, but didn't get a couple of jobs, and one i had really really wanted. and i was perfect for, the woman even said so in her very sweet rejection letter - but she was looking for someone who wanted to do it very long term, and that's not my 5 year plan. but i think she'll be a great contact and we're going to keep in touch. not getting that job just sent me a bit into a spin... about how i have no idea when i will get to do what i WANT to do. i want to be doing acupuncture. but, it seems so so so SO far away. and already feel like it's been ages since i was in a clinic practicing... and i miss it. SO much. i'm going to have make bjorn and mason get needles, just so i keep up with the needles :P. anyway, after much talking with mom and dad, tim and emily (thank you all, much appreciated) had a much better day on friday and a really great interview for yet another job. my interviewer told me i interviewed really well, so cross your fingers - it seemed like a great work environment and i should hear by tuesday if i made round two of the interviews...

and there you have it, albeit in a slightly disjointed fashion. here's to a new week and me getting a job :)

I am not a pretty girl
that is not what I do
I ain't no damsel in distess
and I don't need to be rescued
so put me down punk
maybe you'd prefer a maiden fair
isn't there a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere

I am not an angry girl
but it seems like I've got everyone fooled
every time I say something they find hard to hear
they chalk it up to my anger
and never to their own fear
and imagine you're a girl
just trying to finally come clean
knowing full well they'd prefer you
were dirty and smiling

and I am sorry
I am not a maiden fair
and I am not a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere

and generally my generation
wouldn't be caught dead working for the man
and generally I agree with them
trouble is you gotta have youself an alternate plan
and I have earned my disillusionment
I have been working all of my life
and I am a patriot
I have been fighting the good fight
and what if there are no damsels in distress
what if I knew that and I called your bluff?
don't you think every kitten figures out how to get down
whether or not you ever show up

I am not a pretty girl
I don't want to be a pretty girl
no I want to be more than a pretty girl

-Ani DiFranco

we're back together again/ and i'm never gonna lose you as a friend...

2008-09-14T18:11:00.000-07:00

so, i had the awesome semi-surprise of Katrin coming to visit for the weekend. she called me up thursday and said she was thinking about hopping on the train and coming out to portland for the weekend (she's in montana) and she did just that! i picked her up from the train station on friday morning and we just had an awesome weekend together!

it's so crazy to me that this is only the second time i have gotten together with Kat since we were flatmates in NZ over FOUR years ago... CRAZY! she came down to SD to visit a couple years ago and then just this past weekend... i guess i owe her a few visits out in montana (can't wait to go now that she's just a train ride away!).

anyway, it was SO SO SO great to see her and catch up in person, and recount some of our favorite NZ stories, talk about all the new and exciting things in life and explore portland and of course, drink some damn good beer. friday we grabbed brunch and then later went exploring in the belmont/hawthorne area, which i hadn't been to yet. very cool, very bohemian... went to the bridgeport brewery and had some good beer... came home, made dinner and chilled out with wine, chocolate and a movie. saturday we went to the saturday market after breakfast and a walk in the alberta area (at my new favorite coffeehouse) then wandered around downtown/pearl district and of course powell's. oh, and we decided a stop at voodoo doughnut was an absolutely necessary cultural experience and then, the deschutes brewery was calling to us! had a couple of really interesting beers... i had a preference for the bachelor's bitter, but the x-tap was liked by both of us... a lighter beer than i usually drink, but great for the warm day, and really complex flavor ... hot chilis... so interesting. never had a beer like that before. we thought we were going to have a big night on the town, but instead picked up some take-away indian and wine and watched movies all night. it was fabulous. today we ended up having breakfast over in the nob hill area (kinda pricey part of town, but very cute and some neat shops) then we spent the day in the Japanese Gardens in washington park, before i had to take Kat back to the train station...

the gardens were UNREAL. i am definitely planning on getting a membership, it was so beautiful. below are a few pictures that don't come anywhere close to doing it justice... you'll just have to come visit and see for yourself :).

and that, was my weekend. have some house-keeping things to attend to tonight, 2 interviews tomorrow, and back to job-hunting...

ps - Kat - so wonderful to have you out here, it was great to spend time with you and i CANNOT WAIT to get out to see your new house and explore MT with you :) YAY!

the 5 day forecast...

2008-09-11T11:06:00.001-07:00

High: 86ºF 30ºC

Low: 54ºF 12ºC

Sunny

Friday, September 12, 2008

High: 83ºF 30ºC

Low: 53ºF 12ºC

Sunny

Saturday, September 13, 2008

High: 79ºF 26ºC

Low: 55ºF 13ºC

Sunny

Sunday, September 14, 2008

High: 88ºF 31ºC

Low: 58ºF 14ºC

Sunny

Monday, September 15, 2008

High: 91ºF 33ºC

Low: 59ºF 15ºC

Sunny

anyone coming to visit? :P

two little feet/to get me across the city...

2008-09-10T20:03:00.000-07:00

as i was mentioning washington park earlier, check out the link. it's a wonderful park, on the opposite side of the city, but totally worth the trip... i plan on spending a lot more time there.

anyway, here are a few pictures i've been meaning to put up. the pictures of the park don't do it justice, didn't have the camera with me on my trail run through there, and that was gorgeous...

everywhere you go/you always take the weather with you

2008-09-10T14:20:00.000-07:00

i know, popular consensus should be that it should be rainy and miserable here in the northwest so i will feel bad about moving away...

i hate to say it, but it's been ABSOULTELY GORGEOUS since i got here. sunny skies, awesome temps, no humidity and to top it all off everything is SO GREEN. which somehow just makes the nice weather that much better! ...but, if it makes you feel any better... everyone keeps telling me it's just because it's summer, and come winter i will rue the day i said i liked rain. but, we'll see. i sincerely doubt it...we all know how i kinda dig the grey-rainy weather. but worry not, i'll let you know at the first sign of precipitation!

have been trying to settle in here in portland, which is a whole bunch of mixed emotions for me at the moment. i had a great 20 hours with emily over the weekend. though WAY too short (i guess that part of our relationship is back to the status quo). we brought miss puma home from the airport and then got some delicious indian food in a cute neighborhood over in SE, and then just chilled with puma for the evening. speaking of puma, she's doing quite well in the new digs... though she was quite angry with me for a day or two and refused to cuddle... but i'm back in her good books now (after some cat treats, of course). then saturday morning em and i took the bus downtown and explored the famous saturday market! we had a great time and a massive (and delicious) cinnamon bun! yum! then em had to journey back to san diego and i was left on my own.

i have since explored a bit and found the trader joe's (essential to life) and amazing coffee shop (where i'm at right now... more on this in moment), have been running in washington park (which i wish i had my camera for, so pretty!), met up with some people from a hiking group and went bouldering at an awesome rock gym... and not to mention have gotten lost going various places all week, but also managing to see some other parts of the city. all in all it's been good.

the rest of my time i have been looking for/applying for jobs. and that's the tough part... in the last 2 days i must have sent my cv in to at least 20 jobs... mostly medical reception/billing. and i know, you're wondering why on earth am i not doing acupuncture... here's the thing, in this field there are very few opportunities to be hired... which means there isn't much to apply to. it's pretty much a work for yourself/create your own job/open your own practice kind of thing. which is great, because it's what i want to do. however, it definitely requires some financial resources that i don't currently possess... and therefore, i am currently looking for other gainful sources of employment (but will be doing acupuncture as much as i can at the same time). so, cross your fingers that i will pick up a job soon because it will make me a much happier and less stressed out alexis (and we all like that better).

so. i have to say. it's really weird not knowing anyone here, i have huge gaps of time where i feel like i would normally call someone and hang out, or go explore with... and i just don't have that here. mostly i'm doing ok with that. but, there are definitely times where it hits me and i do question myself and my reasons for moving. i don't reget it, and don't think i made a mistake, but i have questioned it. and i know this is the hard part, and once i have a job and a routine, and meet people it'll be a little less emotional rollercoaster-y. (d'you like how i just made up that adjective, ha).

oh, the coffeehouse i'm in. AMAZING. it's called random order coffeehouse and they have really good ice-brewed coffee (i know, i so don't drink coffee, but i LIKE this) and to DIE for baked goods. i had this awesome savoury muffin today - cornmeal with cheddar, bacon and green chilies. YUM. reminds me of NZ, i always had stuff like that there. they also have free wifi (clearly) and a selection of pies that looks scrumptious (i haven't yet tried one). i seriously am contemplating moving in... their motto is: don't forget to save room for pie. how could it not be an awesome place? ha!

(can you tell i am procrastinating doing real work since i wrote any entire paragraph about the coffeeshop?) *sigh* best get back to writing cover letters and looking for jobs...

get the motor running/head out on the highway/looking for adventure/or whatever comes our way...

2008-09-04T15:48:00.000-07:00

*SIGH*

i made it. to portland. finally.

it's strange, it's been a long time coming, and i've been talking about it for soooooo long. i can't believe i'm really here. it's still a little surreal. though i just dropped tim at the airport today and so it's feeling less like vacation and more like my actual life right now... eeeeek!

other updates before i do the trip recap - i passed CA state boards, because i am SURE you were all dying to know! not that it matters, but it's nice nonetheless.

right, back to business...

the last few days at home were kind of stressful. trying to see people and get the house and car and trailer sorted. dad was in town so it was great to see him and between emily, dad and tim, my life was much more manageable - thank you all for being absoultely wonderful and dealing with my freaking out and for helping, you rock my world!

and everyone else, who came to shakespeare's or did lunch with me, etc, thank you so much! it was a pleasure to see you and i'm so glad i got to say goodbye... there's an open invitation to you all if you're ever in the pacific northwest!

so, let's see, packed up the trailer on thursday, tim was AMAZING at packing it up, we had so much more room than i thought... had lunch with amielle, dad and i got acupuncture from vasa, then dropped puma off at stephanie's for the week, dropped dad at the hotel and picked up dinner and pretty much called it a night. tim and i hit the road at about 4.30am on friday, managed to make it through LA with minimal traffic! cheryl was awesome and woke up and met us off the highway near her house, to say hi and bring us coffee (thanks babe! so great to see you!) then it was all highway all the time till we hit yosemite!

yosemite was AMAZING. definitely need to go back for real and spend a week there sometime. we got there in the afternoon and set up camp and just kind of wandered around and played in the river. it was really freaking HOT, like 97* and so a nice little swim was grand! crashed out pretty hard that night, and were on the road again at 7.30 the next morning... drove through northern CA and southern OR and ended up at crater lake, OR at around 7.30pm... however, when we got there, it was just about FREEZING! crazy the different climates a 12 hour drive can bring... we mostly just set up camp and fire and called it a night. The next morning, everything had frozen over...eeek! glad i had my whole life in the trailer and so had extra clothing because the weather forecast said nothing about temps THAT low.

spent the day going around crater lake, had gorgeous sunshine, and without the wind, the temp was actually quite nice... until the evening, when amazingly enough it SNOWED! not much or long, but, STILL it was still AUGUST, and SNOWING! crazy! but tim had a great little fire going, and we had soup and tea and kept warm!

monday morning we packed up and headed out, and up to portland! went through eugene and stopped at The Wandering Goat Coffee Shop (amazing, you must go if you're in eugene!) and then stopped by Bjorn's parents' place in Corvallis (he was there) to pick up a key, and then to portland! had a pretty sedate night, SHOWERED for the first time in 4 days (it was SO needed) and then had dinner and slept! tuesday we unpacked the trailer, and returned it, then spent a little time in downtown portland, visited powell's (of course) and wandered through washington park (SO pretty, didn't take photos, but will go back soon and accomplish this!). then yesterday we decided to hit up the coast since i wanted tim to see it up in oregon since we didn't make it on the drive up... drove from portland out to cannon beach and then south on the 101 to tillamook (yes, where they make the cheese, we went to the factory too!) and then back to portland. we had an awesome picnic lunch sitting on rocks by a bay somewhere between manzanita and tillamook... the weather was idea, and it was just so pretty and chill! went to a local brew pub last night and had some of the microbrews oregon is known for...

this morning had to pack up tim (who wouldn't leave me his tent... i have no idea why :P) and after brunch we went to the airport, and now i'm back home. and it's weird. starting to sink in that it's not just vacation anymore. on that note, thank you tim, SO MUCH for making the trip with me... it wouldn't have been the same without you, and i'm so glad you were there :).

i'm a little tripped out about being here and not having friends local, and not having a job yet, and all that kind of stuff is a little overwhelming at the moment. and the *hard* part is just kind of hitting me emotionally, and i knew it would... and i DO NOT regret moving, i still think it's the right thing for me, but that doesn't mean it isn't hard and that i have to go through this adjustment period... *sigh*

anyway, that's about it! now that i'm back with internet and currently have some time on my hands, i'll be updating with further adventures more often (and hopefully pictures!).

on the horizon, emily is coming up tomorrow evening with PUMAAAAAAAAAAAAA which is great, miss them both SO much!

enjoy the pictures, keep in touch and if you know anyone in portland who wants acupuncture, please send them my way! :)

and i know i've posted this before, but i'm feeling this quite acutely at the moment, so wanted to repost....

Of Movement

We live somewhere: in a country, in a town in that country, in a neighbourhood in that town, in a street in that neighbourhood, in a building in that street, in an apartment in that building.

We should long ago have got into the habit of moving about, of moving about freely, without it being too much trouble. But we haven't done so, we've stayed where we were; things have stayed as they were. We haven't asked ourselves why it was there and not somewhere else, why it was like this and not otherwise. Then, obviously, it was too late, our habits were formed. We began to think we were well off where we were. After all, we were as well off there as over the road.

We have difficulty changing, even if it's only the position of our furniture. Moving house is quite a business.

-Georges Perec

cheers!

should i stay or should i go?

2008-08-25T16:40:00.000-07:00

seriously.

moving is hell.

*so* overwhelmed right now.

...it's a nice day /for a white wedding...

2008-08-20T01:17:00.000-07:00

a few pix from eric and meryl's wedding that mostly i stole from ems :) more to come later!

between the bars

2008-08-15T11:52:00.000-07:00

*sigh*

it's been a crazy few weeks. all the CAB drama with the letter saying i couldn't take the boards. the appeals, the approval but no approval letter. DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA i didn't need. needless to say i was livid and the only saving grace being that i already have my national certification and am moving in a few weeks out of state. so, i won't relive all the anger and in the end i was able to take the exam (though really at that point i didn't care anymore) but they had to fax my approval letter to my hotel in sacramento the day before the exam... whatever. anyway, exam over. don't know how i did. but didn't actually study, so it'll be an adventure when i get the results in a month, when theoretically i'll be in practice in oregon! (i have in fact sent in my application for licensure, so i'm just waiting on that...)

so, craziness in SD. got to spend time with em and viks, and clint was down for a weekend... fun to see him! then ems got her own place in la jolla, which i have yet to see, but am excited because she is taking a bunch of my stuff :). stephanie went to iraq, so it was sad to see her go, and i haven't heard from her there yet... waiting on that.

other than that, lots of work and trying to work out my trip up to OR and then what i'm doing when i get there. tim is driving with me and then hanging out for a few days in portland, so that'll be fun. just need to work out our route and if we're stopping and camping on the way...

went from sacramento back to bethesda (where i am right now). am here just a few days, going to eric's wedding tomorrow (eeeek! when did that happen?) but i'm excited to see him, and also dida, gracie and ems! yay! got to see raychel and karen too and that was a nice treat!

mostly i'm trying to catch up on sleep and enjoy the cold, dark basement because the next 2 weeks of my life are going to be insanely busy and then i have NO IDEA what is going to happen... adventure!

retrospective

2008-07-26T19:39:00.000-07:00

so, i started sorting out my crap today. all my school stuff, trying to get rid of the un-needed stuff and organize the rest so it will be useful. and it's funny to look through old things. i'm currently going through a box of stuff from my first year in school. and there are all the typical 1st year academic things - pretty, recopied notes in all sorts of colors, organized notes...etc but then i came across some things from my clinical counseling class. disclaimer - i have to say, i HATED these classes - it was wayyyyy too much like therapy, but with your classmates, who since it was 1st semester, you didn't know yet. anyway, that said, i see their usefulness, but... anyway. so we had a homework assignment called 'life questions' which asked all sorts of things like: what do you consider your strengths? what about yourself would you like to change? when do you feel most alive? what do you want most out of life? how did you view yourself 5 years ago? how do you see yourself now? where would you like to be 5 years from now? if you could have 3 wishes what would they be? and if you were to write your own epitaph what would it be? and i'm sure at the time i was pretty annoyed at having to answer them and turn them in. but, surprisingly enough, i think i actually answered them pretty honestly and not full of my usual sarcasm and disdain for things like that... and reading it over now, some of my answers struck me... indulge me while i quote myself from almost 4 years ago...

*when do you feel most alive?
I think I feel most alive when I am in transition. The times in life when you aren't sure where you are or where you're going - being in a fall and not knowing up from down, left from right - no reference points. The emotions aren't always positive - but i think they are most real. Without that comfort zone you are really living - experiencing all emotion and possibility and i think unfortunately it's easy to get caught up in comfort and stasis and level out your living experience and while this is safe - it's not being truly 'alive'.

* where would you like to be 5 years from now?
I would live to have graduated - and either be working on a Ph.D. or have a practice somewhere. I want to keep up the good outlook on life - I want to be happy - but not content- I always want to be changing and growing - but I want to be at a place where I have balance in my life, where I love what I am doing, where I have friends, where I am in a healthy relationship - where I can be in the present and not concerned about the past or worried about the future - just being - and helping other people find that balance.

and, you know, in regards to being alive, i still agree and i think it's been the huge motivation behind my move. this feeling of stagnation, of being complacent - the idea that i need to move beyond my comfort zone, and stretch... to come up against my edge and push just a little further. and i was right, the feelings aren't always positive. but, i do think they are real. it makes me present with the here and now, and where i am, and where i am not...

and as to my 5 year wishes... i've still got a little over a year to go to see if i reach those goals, and you know what - i think i'm well on my way. and i still want all of that, and more :P but, i think i'm on track.

it's funny, i don't remember doing this exercise 4 years ago, but it was a nice check-in to find that paper today and see if i'm doing what i thought, or if my priorities have changed...

i thought the ocean/and the ocean thought nothing

2008-07-23T11:18:00.000-07:00

...And the ones that can know you so well
are the ones that can swallow you whole.
I have a good and I have an evil,
I thought the ocean, the ocean thought nothing,
You are the welcoming back from the ocean...

-Dar Williams

just got some of the pictures sorted, hope you enjoy... it's lots of ocean photos... and sometimes the same shot but i was playing with the SLR, so forgive me. will post *about* the trip later, don't have time at the moment. have to clean up the house and then lunch with susan and off to work!

of movement

2008-07-22T09:37:00.000-07:00

was away for the weekend (more on that and pictures in another post) and it got me thinking a little bit about travel, and why i need to. what it is about going someplace else, somewhere else... and of course, with the impending move, i was thinking about what is my drive. WHY do i need to do this (because, it IS a need for me)? and i was re-reading some of georges perec's Species of Spaces and Other Pieces and i came across this passage (see below)... and it seemed only fitting. and somewhat explained my predicament. i DO ask why... because it does become habit, and there is a lack of thought, we just are, and it just is. but when you start to ask, when there is a question, you have to move, sitting still is no longer an option...

-Georges Perec

mama don't take my kodachrome away

2008-07-16T22:47:00.000-07:00

mama has so kindly given me the gift of a dSLR for graduation. and so, i've been looking into different cameras, and am trying a couple out before making a decision. a nearby camera shop has a 5 day trial of the Nikon D40x, with 2 lenses, so i'm testing it out. didn't have time for too much today, but managed to play around with the macro setting and puma this afternoon before i had to jet to work...

more to come over the next week :)

...under the state of a strange land...

2008-07-11T14:27:00.000-07:00

so. it's official. i'm going to be renting a room from Bjorn as of September 1, 2008.

this means... I HAVE AN ADDRESS IN PORTLAND!!!!!!!!

that's exciting. this is really, *actually*, happening.

so, i will (of course) remind you again - but here is my address in portland as of 9/1/08:

4222 NE 76th Ave
Portland, OR 97218

yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!

next step: change my phone number...

"july, july, july/it never seemed so strange..."

2008-07-10T10:22:00.000-07:00

what's been going on? nothing. everything. i don't even know anymore.

been working like crazy. so many hours. i feel like i get home and then go to bed and it's all i have time for. my life is a mess (literally) - i absolutely need to tidy my house, but i can't seem to find the time or energy.

my schedule is a little crazy and the free time i have, i try to sleep and maybe see some friends. god knows, i haven't even started studying for CA boards (in a month! eeek!). shhhhh, don't tell.

but that being said, the last few weeks have still been good, though busy. it's been great having em around, i still can't believe she lives here (and 6 blocks from me!) - i think we're both in denial. and while our schedules are completely contradictory, we have managed to spend *some* time together. it's great not having to be stressed about spending every minute i can with her (which is usually the case when we are only in the same city for less than 24 hours!). it'll be sad to move, and if anyone could convince me to stay in SD, it'd be ems being here, but that said, we both know i have to go. at least we'll still be in the same time zone!

tim and i have hung out a lot, since he's had a bit more time on his hands, it's been good - lots of hiking/walks and boardgame playing :). yesterday we caught a day game at Petco Park, and that was fun, even though the padres didn't play particularly well. it's been ages since i've been to the ballpark, and i forgot that there are really no bad seats there even when you get the cheap tickets!

cheryl came down over 4th of july weekend, and while we didn't do anything particularly celebratory it was fun to hang out. i miss her so much! she really needs to move to portland :P.

that's about it... just trying to figure out the logistics of moving. am in the process of changing my health insurance, phone number...etc, all that good stuff. it's actually becoming real! eeek! (T-50days, can you believe it?). still SO much to do and figure out... but i can't wait :) :) :)

sigh

2008-06-23T09:15:00.000-07:00

what a week.

this past week was all over the place. started a new job at a massage clinic. which was fine, not nearly busy enough. and they're kind of disorganized. worked at acusport and blue lotus. matt's in NZ, and i'm wicked jealous! let's see, also got another job at a different spa, doing massage- which i have training for today. i'm pretty sure i'm never going to have any free time until i leave san diego, at this rate...

other than that, watched the NZ v ENG rugby game, and clearly NZ won. it was better than last week's game - they played a bit tighter and more fluidly - it was fun to watch. also got to hang out with jeremy and some of his friends yesterday at his place which was great. haven't gotten to see him since he went to china so it was a good time. i miss that kid. just finished a 14 day detox and happy to be done with that!

in other news, EMILY GETS HERE TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can't wait. i'm kind of in disbelief that she is ACTUALLY moving here. it's so crazy. i'm so excited. though, i have NO time this week, and so don't know how much i will get to see her :(. but hopefully we can squeeze in lunch tomorrow!

and that's pretty much the story. life from here on out is going to be BUSY BUSY BUSY and a little chaotic, and so much to still figure out and plan, and it freaks me out a little to think about it too much... so on that note, i must be off to a meeting and then training and then work...

get out the map and lay your finger anywhere down...

2008-06-15T18:08:00.000-07:00

got out of san diego today. it was great - went just outside of Julian, CA (about an hour northeast) and hiked to cedar creek falls. it was a good hike, and beautiful falls with a big punchbowl at the bottom!

check out the pix:

hiking 6-15-08

more later. have a wicked headache...

my heart was deep space and my head was maths

2008-06-07T08:40:00.000-07:00

well, the last month has been all over the place. most of it i spent back east on a trip of varied sorts. first i went to boston, got to hang with dr. graciela for a day, had dinner with dawn and dave and then craig picked me up and we headed west to amherst. i got to meet with his favorite prof, betsey, and hung out in his house for a few days. definitely brought back the memories, kegs and beirut in the middle of the afternoon... it was echoes of 40... speaking of, it was just my 5-year college reunion. WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN??!!?? (i didn't go, but still). hung with craig for a few days til the family arrived for graduation. then we packed up and drove home to MD, the next morning in the newly unloaded car, i repacked and headed down to the outer banks, NC to spend the week there prior to Sarah and Michael's wedding!

A-MAZE-ING. it's been 4 years since i've been to the OBX, and goddamn, i've missed it. there's just something about that place... and while some has changed and it's definitely more crowded than it used to be, it's still got that feeling. it was just such a joy to be there again, not to mention to be with all the beach people, too! weird that we weren't all together in one house, but so great to spend time with everyone. the wedding was absolutely gorgeous, and it was an honor to be a part of that - thank you mike and sarah :) you both were wonderful, and i wish you much happiness and joy :). anyway, i have approximately a million pictures, here ya go:

back east 5-20 - 6-5

Sarah and Michael's Wedding

after a wonderful week at the beach, craig and i headed up to c'ville to see dad, karina and kian for a couple days. we also got to grab dinner with judy, wayne and the kids, so great to see you all! i'm sorry it was so short and we hardly got to catch up... you're just going to have to come visit me out in portland when i move :). i luckily, also caught up with court for a couple of hours - which was great. can't believe it's been a year since i saw her at dawn and dave's wedding! it's never enough time... but then it was back to MD for the night (where we had no power and i got to play in the dark for hours by myself...) and then off to the airport the next morning and back to the west coast.

and now i'm back in san diego, and the realization kind of hit me when i was away, about how soon i'm really leaving and how much i need to accomplish before then...eeeek! as far as good to be home? eh... i don't know, san diego has never really felt like home, and still doesn't. great to see my puma again, and my friends, but i can't say i really missed here...

To fall in the void as I fell:

2008-05-11T12:34:00.000-07:00

none of you knows what that means. For you, to fall means to plunge perhaps from the twenty-sixth floor of a skyscraper, or from an airplane which breaks down in flight: to fall headlong, grope in the air a moment, and then the Earth is immediately there, and you get a big bump. But I'm talking about the time when there wasn't any Earth underneath or anything else solid, not even a celestial body in the distance capable of attracting you into its orbit. You simply fell, indefinitely, for an indefinite length of time. I went down into the void, to the most absolute bottom conceivable, and once there I saw that the extreme limit must have been much, much farther below, very remote, and I went on falling, to reach it. Since there were no reference points, I had no idea whether my fall was fast or slow. Now that I think about it, there weren't even any proofs that I was really falling: perhaps I had always remained immobile in the same place, or I was moving in an upward direction; since there was no above or below there were only nominal questions and so I might just as well go on thinking I was falling, as I was naturally lead to think.

-Italo Calvino, Cosmicomics "The Form of Space"

...yeah. kind of feel like this right now with my life. no reference points, free fall in space with no sense of direction or anything to grab onto. this post-school space is a strange one. i find myself crying for no reason. i'm not sure what it's about. and i AM excited about the future, but it's also part terrifying and i have no reference point for it, it's all new and different and i can just hope i will make it work.

"...I couldn't get out of the present except to imagine a different present, and none of the rest counted...

done. move. next.

2008-05-10T11:50:00.000-07:00

photographic evidence is always nice.

TCM theory: check!

biomed: check!

acupuncture: check!

herbs: check!

well, kids, that's it for the NCCAOM national board exam for acupuncture and herbal medicine. now i just have to wait for a certificate (which i won't get for another month or so til i finish taking my CNT class)

it's kind of weird. i thought i'd be all excited and giddy and all these things. but it's really rather anticlimactic. i guess partially because i can't practice in CA with it anyway, so i have to wait until i move to make use of it :). speaking of moving... i need to get on that figuring out oregon thing...

but before i that i really need to grocery shop, clean my house and go for a run. and if anyone wants to take me to dinner tonight, i wouldn't be opposed :P.

i hate people.

2008-05-08T22:46:00.000-07:00

courtesy of

www.angrylittlegirls.com

kawaii

2008-05-07T19:46:00.001-07:00

quite possible the cutest thing EVER. i want one. NOW! anyway, read about this cute little puma here

Abstract of Judgment

2008-05-07T19:29:00.000-07:00

man. long day and it's only 7.30pm. so, what i may have neglected to mention previously about my life is that i am currently doing some temp work. at a law office. and it's pretty mindless, we just have to go through a billion and twelve boxes of files and remove the abstract of judgment and judgment from each file and then scan them...etc. it sounds like hell, but actually wasn't too bad. i went through 5 boxes today and watched an hour and a half video on debt collection (that's what the law office does) and i did learn some interesting things regarding the law and the practice of debt collection, let's hope it doesn't have to come in handy... but ya never know. the other fabulous thing is that cheryl is also temping there, so we get to hang out in the conference room and do the files together, or listen to music. all in all, it could be worse and it pays ok. this being said, i'm glad i'm doing it for only 2 weeks.

so, why this is at all relevant is because i start my day just after 5am, when i get up for boxing, then have to make lunch and snacks for the day, pack my boxing stuff and all my work clothes and get to the gym by 6. box for an hour (today i worked with this girl, and she was a little too hardcore for me, and she had to comment on EVERYTHING i did. i'm all for learning and constructive criticism, and i know i don't know what i'm doing, but she had to say something about EVERYTHING. ugh, i wasn't into it at 6am this morning, i would have preferred bag work by myself.) and then i showered and changed at the gym(the showers there are actually pretty nice) and then off to cheryl's and we carpooled to work. get home at almost 6pm, cook dinner and i just did some data entry work for Amy.

and now it's 7.30 and as sad as it is, i am absolutely ready for my bed. unfortunately, i can't quite make it there yet. i've still got dishes to do, stuff to cook for tomorrow (i definitely didn't have enough snacks today, i was so hungry all the time!), set out clothing for tomorrow and also put away a stack of laundry that's been sitting in my room for days, and clean a bit. i suppose at some point i should study too (have my other NCCAOM tests this weekend) but that may just have to wait for tomorrow. my goal is to be in bed by 9.30. (i know, quite the life i lead) but somehow even 7 hours of sleep doesn't make getting up at 5 any easier.

in other news, i applied for this massage job at a day spa on monday. i'd really actually like to get it, met with the guy for about 30min, the place was BEAUTIFUL. he said to call him back today to set up a time to demonstrate my massage skills and i called and he had no idea who i was. always a good sign. awesome. he said he'd call me back in an hour (he was busy with a client) but so far, no go. will call him again tomorrow...

ok, off i go, if i ever want to actually sleep!

PASS! take II

2008-05-05T21:20:00.001-07:00

NCCAOM Acupuncture section: PASS.

Jing Luo

2008-05-05T11:34:00.000-07:00

i.e. the channels and collaterals. which, in case you were wondering (and i know you are), integrate the whole body, circulate qi and xue, demonstrate the location of disorders, and transmit qi to diseased areas.

so, in case you hadn't noticed, we're going to have a lesson of the day, since i don't really want to study (my exam is in 5 hours) and so, i figure i'll make the great wide beyond out there learn with me :).

so, back to basics - the jing luo system has various levels, the primary channels are what we all know and think of as acupuncture meridians. however, there are many other levels we can access both more superficially and at depth. the most superficial of the jing luo system are the cutaneous regions, then the minute collaterals, then the sinew channels, the luo (or connecting) channels, then come the primary channels, deep to these are the divergent pathways, the extraordinary vessels and finally the deep pathways.

cutaneous regions: demonstrate the location of disorders in deeper channels (i.e. you may have a rash or some skin condition in a particular region associated with an internal organ disorder), and external pathogens often enter the body at the cutaneous level.

minute/blood collaterals: distribute qi and xue to the body surface (you can thing of these like your capillary system), they also circulate your wei qi (this is your body's defensive qi which protects you again external pathogens...much like the immune system).

sinew/TMM channels: connect muscles, tendons and ligaments to joints, distribute qi and xue to body's surface, protect the bones, link structures of the body together, and facilitate articulation and normal activity.

luo channels: run superficillay along the body, they do not penetrate to the internal organs, they connect internally/externally paired channels.

now that we've covered the Luo... onto the Jing:

primary channels: intergrate the body, circulate qi/xue, demonstrate location of disorders, transmit qi, have their own points including 5-phase, xi, yuan and luo points. these are the points you have all heard of with organ names and numbers (i.e. Stomach 36/ZuSanLi) these are the points your acupuncturist will palpate for and needle. However, while they directly access the primary channels, these points can also be used to access the other levels described here.

divergent pathways: run deep to strengthen internally/externally paired organs and channels, they distribute qi/xue to head, face and interior (allowing yin to reach the head), integrate areas of the body not interconnected by primary channels, explain clinical actions of some commonly used points (i.e. PC 6 to treat nausea).

8 Extraordinary channels: not directly related to primary channels, reservoirs of qi and xue, link the 12 primary channels, protect the body.

so there you have it, an intro (and probably more than you ever wanted to know) to acupuncture meridian theory. but it made me read and rephrase the info, so thanks for helping me study :), but i suppose now i should stop procrastinating and get back to the books. after tonight i will be HALFWAY done with my national board exams... can you believe it?

wish me luck!

PASS!

2008-05-04T17:49:00.000-07:00

NCCAOM Chinese Herbology Section: PASS.

*whew* that was the tough one (at least i think so) points tomorrow, then biomed and OM theory and i will have passed Nationals all together :) yay! Can't wait!

LDXGT TX LR/GB DH

2008-05-03T08:36:00.000-07:00

if that makes ANY sense to you, you're most likely studying for the herbs section of NCCAOM National exams. *sigh*. i'm SO tired of studying. but that being said, i haven't really even studied. i guess i feel like after 4 years i should pretty much know this. and what *exactly* can i study, anyhow? it's EVERYTHING. so... we'll see. the test is today at 4.30pm and then i'm taking my second section (points) on monday at 5pm.

oddly. i'm really not nervous at all. part of me feels like i should be, because well, this is my future, right? i kind of have 4years and 110,000+ riding on this and it's not like i want to fuck it up. but, at the same time, i have to know enough not to fail. and it's kind of reminding me of my whole SAT ordeal - like i'm going to think the whole thing was just stupid.

wish me luck!

a wish to be a big cactus/with a pink flower on it

2008-04-28T08:49:00.000-07:00

joshua trees

our campsite

nancy cooking an amazing breakfast!

looking out over jtree park from rocks at quail springs

me - pretending i can rock-climb

The flower said, "I wish I was a tree,"
The tree said, "I wish I could be A different kind of tree,
The cat wished that it was a bee,
The turtle wished that it could fly
Really high into the sky,
Over rooftops and then dive
Deep into the sea.

And in the sea there is a fish,
A fish that has a secret wish,
A wish to be a big cactus
With a pink flower on it.
And in the sea there is a fish,
A fish that has a secret wish,
A wish to be a big cactus
With a pink flower on it.

And the flower
Would be its offering
Of love to the desert.
And the desert,
So dry and lonely,
That the creatures all
Appreciate the effort.

And the rattlesnake said,
"I wish I had hands so I could hug you like a man."
And then the cactus said, "Don't you understand,
My skin is covered with sharp spikes
That'll stab you like a thousand knives.
A hug would be nice,
But hug my flower with your eyes."
- "Tree Hugger", Kimya Dawson

*sigh*

just got back from joshua tree national park last night. what an AMAZING trip. i had such a good time. the last two weeks have been a bit of a blur. with no real schedule to speak of, applying for jobs, freaking out about finances, registering for nationals, working, studying, and boxing boxing boxing boxing, and organizing the jtree trip.

so, really, the jtree trip is all i want to talk about, because the rest of it wasn't so exciting, except i DID go to boxing every day last week, which was awesome (thanks stephanie for coming with), if not a bit daunting with the 5am wake-up everyday. but it was fun, and hopefully this week (minus today) will be the same!

so, camping - we left friday mid-day to head out to joshua tree national park.
it was a much easier trip than i had expected, we got out there in under 3 hours even with a little bit of traffic! devon, tim and i got there first and set up camp, then nancy and dave showed up and finally TJ and cheryl. on friday we pretty much just hung out and cooked up some dinner and had fun on the campsite. after a fabulous breakfast of french toast on saturday (thanks nancy!) we took off and drove through the park stopping at various places to play on the rocks and see cacti and eventually made it to the complete other end of the park to cottonwood springs where we started our hike to lost palms oasis. it was close to a 4 mile hike each way. beautiful scenery, it's so strange. the desert. i felt like i was on another planet almost. the whole panorama is just amazing, the plants seem so foreign and the rock outcroppings look staged. it's just unreal. gorgeous in a completely different way than lush green tree filled areas. but also so DRY. talk about no humidity. but that's the mojave and colorado deserts for ya. anyway, had a hike out to the oasis - which i think wasn't exactly what any of us had in mind. the description we had read left a bit to the imagination and really, we all took it too far. the oasis, i suppose was rather a miraculous in the middle of the desert, but it wasn't pools of water. there was an outcropping of fan palms (the largest group of CA fan palms in all of jtree park) and if you dug enough in the group there was in fact water that welled up. at any rate, we took a little siesta in the shade of the palms before we headed back up and out of the oasis and back to cottonwood springs, and then back to our campground at blackrock canyon. sunday, nancy and dave had to take off after breakfast, and the rest of us packed up our site and decided to head out to hidden valley where TJ and i put on our rock-climbing shoes and pretended we both knew how to boulder... ha! but by the end of a couple hours we got the hang of it, but of course not before a few minor scrapes and abrasions. tim hung out with us and mostly laughed at our attempts to rock climb... cheryl and devon went for a walk around hidden valley and met up with us later. we all had lunch and then made our way back to san diego.

in a rare twist of events the temperatures at joshua tree were perfect - it was in the upper 70's -mid 80's during the day and 50's at night. PERFECT! whereas apparently san diego had a wicked hot weekend (it was disgusting when we got back last night). so what a great weekend to get out of the city!

anyway, the trip was awesome, great people, great weather, phenomenal scenery... i really didn't want to come back to reality! i laughed so much when i was away - it was great! on that note, hope you enjoyed the pictures above... here are some more, enjoy!

and here are some of TJ's pictures from the weekend! thanks for sharing TJ!

and HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEVON!

cranial overload/systems malfunction

2008-04-14T16:50:00.000-07:00

*remember to breathe*

so. i'm done with grad school. (i know, i can't believe it's true either).

the last month has flown by. so much happening. so much to get done. so much still to do. and while i'm not in school anymore (it's weird not being in clinic all day today) there's this illusion of time and choice, but i'm not so sure it's anything more than that, an illusion. i had kind of envisioned a slow-down, some time to myself, something a little less structured and a place where i could get back to myself, live the kind of life i want, going to boxing, yoga, having time to cook dinner, and working. something other than the crazy-woman rushing around, every minute of my time scheduled kind of life i've been living for the last 4 years. and it is different. i am not absolutely scheduled, but now it's making myself my own schedule, where in i have to find more work, plan out my board studying (because yes, i need a study schedule, cos i will ONLY TAKE THESE ONCE) and get my exercise in, not to mention see friends (have to make the best of my last 6 months here...) and all that good stuff.

did i mention i finished grad school?

ha. i didn't think it would ever happen. and the reality is, it's a bit of anti-climax. i mean, there's still so much studying to do and i can't work in acupuncture until i'm licensed... so. yeah. maybe when boards are over this will feel real. but that being said, i'm glad i have a little time. now that i'm not in school my entire waking life, i can research more living/job stuff in portland and figure out more details of that. which is VERY exciting and kind of surreal, this is all starting to be real...

right, so, since i last posted... oh god, i have no idea what i've done. ha. finished up school, i believed i passed all my courses, otherwise i'd probably have heard by now. i applied to board exams, both nationals and states... i *FINALLY* got my registration ID for nationals and now have to schedule my exam modules (it's done at a computer testing center) which i plan on taking in a month. but might spread out the sections a bit, so possibly in the next couple of weeks i'll start that process! eeeeeek! nationals! and my states application was received but i doubt i'll hear anything from them for a while (the test is in august).

and in life outside of school/board exams (is there such a thing?)... have gotten to hang out with friends a bit. have gone out dancing with the girls a few times, hiking (possibly some pictures to come of hiking in penasquitos a couple of weeks ago), batting cages with ris and devon (too fun, though i was kinda crap at the hardball) and just yesterday i went kayaking!!!! on mission bay with tim. we had such an awesome time, though there was definitely some bumper-kayaking going on with the crazy messed up paddle. so much fun, haven't been kayaking in ages, so it was awesome to be out on the water (made me REALLY miss crew!) though i was crap at putting sunscreen on my legs and managed to miss a couple spots and now look like i have some sort of demented skin disease *sigh* oh well, it was worth it! speaking of weather, it's been CRAZY hot out here (high 80s!).

oh oh oh oh! this might be a day premature, but emily may indeed be moving to san diego YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'd be ridiculously excited. ridiculously. we haven't lived in the same city since HS...

in other news, the baking update: i've made the cheesecake (again, and again fabulous reviews), truffles, a ginger butter cake, the molasses spice cookies again (always a hit!) chocolate raspberry cake... but as my camera was on the fritz, no pictures... but it's fixed now, so look forward to baking pictures now that i have some time on my hands, and tons of recipes i want to try!

in recap: i finished grad school.

this is less about you all understanding it, than trying to have it sink in that i have actually finished my masters degree (about damn time) and am (almost) allowed to practice acupuncture for my job. :).

in the meantime, anyone you know in san diego who wants to give me a part-time job, or needs a massage, please get them in touch with me ...

cheers!
~ Alexis

...between an overload of information/and striving for a pure dedication/i find myself looking for the exit sign...

2008-03-18T16:16:00.000-07:00

so. it's official. i'm crap at keeping a blog. but life, as they say, has been crazy. what else is new, you may ask? exactly. that's the problem.

ok, brief recap since my last post:
1) amy and natalie came to visit, it was fabulous to see them both. however they got unexpected rainy SD weather... and found that their favorite place was la jolla. who ever would have guessed? but thanks, both of you, i didn't get to spend nearly enough time, but it was a treat to have you, and puma misses your toes dearly!

2) house-sitting for elizabeth - my friend elizabeth went to NZ for 2 weeks to run to ironman, and i got to take care of her two dogs for the first week. she beat her last time despite insane weather, and had a wonderful trip around NZ and even got to hang with simon (i'm jealous!).

3)emily came to visit!!!! (well, sort of... she was out interviewing/visiting scripps to check out their PhD program and i got to steal her for 24 hours!). it was awesome to see her. there was much frolicking with sarah and celli and then saturday night, i had a bit of a pre-birthday get together at the bluefoot, which em got to attend and meet a bunch of my friends. it was fabulous!

4)sarah's bridal shower - beautiful, great to see everyone, and the whole "in the dark" thing was a trip... (we lost power for almost the entire party...).

5) bjorn was in town last week and so i hung out with him and TJ at Bondi's trivia night - superfun. and bjorn wanted to know why i wasn't moving to portland already... it's a good question, eh?

was supposed to go camping in anza borrego this past weekend, but weather conditions caused us to cancel :( which was sad. but had a superfun night at marissa's with devon, cheryl, celeste and jenna... good times ladies, thanks! and pretty much took the rest of the weekend easy.

and here we are. week 12 of school which means biophysics final thursday (ick) and 2 more weeks of classes, and 3 weeks of clinic left. that is just CRAZY. i can't believe this whole process is actually coming to an end. i've submitted my application for national boards, and it's been received, so i should hear from them in the next month and be able to register for my test dates (i'm thinking mid-may -which means i really oughta study). still have to mail in my states application, but that's not til august, so no rush there.

along those lines, it's really exciting to almost be done with school. i'm freaking out a little bit about finances... but i suppose that's normal. and tell everyone you know they really need to get a massage from me :P

ok, really not even thinking about that right now. *deep breath*

and yeah, other than that, life is pretty good. just trying to make it through the next few weeks. still getting some boxing in, which was awesome today (thanks niko!) and just planned a camping trip for joshua tree next month (SO excited) and can't wait to figure out all my oregon stuff once i have some time again!

*sigh* that was more than enough, wasn't it?

oh! but cooking! i made the fabulous coffee-cake on smittenkitchen's blog, a couple of weeks ago and sadly couldn't find rhubarb so used blackberries... still divine, and i'd have pictures but my camera is sick right now :(... but i highly recommend it!

ruck it to the west!

2008-02-17T21:39:00.000-08:00

ok, so i know i've been a little slow on the updating. BUT. life has been crazy busy. so last weekend the IRB rugby 7s was in San Diego. For all you non-rugby people, 7s is a modification of traditional rugby union that has 7 players per side, and 7 minute halves. The games are really fast and fun to watch! it also means an ENTIRE tournament can go down in 2 days. which is exactly what happened. this is a big deal, it's in the 7s world series circuit and it's the only major rugby tourney played in the US. (it used to be in LA, i went with laura a couple years ago but now it's in SD, YAY!). so, naturally i went alllllllllllllllllll weekend. the weather was great, and i had SUCH a good time! granted i was slightly less productive in the rest of my life... but really, who cares :P! so, here are a few pics from last weekend.

at the start of the day... here's the schedule for the morning.

NZ's team! victor vito is AMAZING, so fast! he was so much fun to watch!

hehehe. don't ask...
NZ v FRA
(this was a rivalry b/c FRA beat NZ in the world cup semifinals in october...grrrr)

crowd...

me and... (i totally forgot her name, but she was tons of fun)

everyone loves Kenya! (esp when they're beating ENG!)
FINAL!!!!! NZ v SA (NZ won, of course)

ok, so tons more pictures, some people from the game have some more to send me. so eventually i'll post more :). but it was such an AWESOME weekend. god, i miss rugby so much (good thing super14 started this week!) so rugby all weekend, and also Ray at Night with Aimee and co. lots of fun. i was totally wiped from being in the sun all day both days and *sigh* it was just great!

crazy week of school, busy stuff. midterms and all that jazz. childrens... i'll post about that later, can't get into it right now. this weekend has been pretty chill. went out with rudy, mike and cheryl on friday night. haven't been out out in ages. went to AC lounge, danced lots and stayed out late. not gonna lie, had a bit of hangover saturday morning :). today i baked HEAPS! had dinner at TJs to celebrate his bday. he makes this spaghetti dinner every year (he has since he was a kid) with his grandmother's sauce recipe. so he had a few people over and i made a pumpkin pie (his favorite) and dulce-de-leche cheesecake which came out AMAZING
this picture does not do it justice (and my camera is being weird, must get it checked out) but i don't really like dulce de leche or cheesecake and i have to say it was pretty good, and everyone else absolutely LOVED it. i LOVE baking :) yay!

ok, now that i've made an update i must finish cleaning house and get some sleep. another busy week (i do NOT have the day off tomorrow) and amy and natalie come on tuesday, so that's exciting!

新年快乐

2008-02-08T10:58:00.000-08:00

*xinnian kuaile*

(happy new year!)

恭喜發財

(gongxi facai)

*congratulations and be prosperous*

super tuesday and other such things

2008-02-05T20:04:00.000-08:00

well. the polls just closed here. it'll certainly be interesting... i was voting just after the polls opened this AM (it was conveniently on my way home from boxing). i felt bad for everyone in line with stinky/sweaty me... but, hey, if i didn't go then not sure i would have gotten there...

*sigh* children's was tough yesterday. still working on the 5 year old with the brain stem tumor, and it's just hard, because he doesn't get better and has been in the hospital for months... it's so heartbreaking to see the family and read all the charts (about the parent's meeting with the psychologist, etc...). and then saw an almost 4 year old who has some abdominal tumor and has been in the hospital for 3 weeks, and wouldn't even let us touch her... poor kid, and you wonder if it's just a product of being in the hospital for that long and stuck with hypodermics (we were just going to do massage and magnets, no needles) or if maybe she has some abuse history? and then hung out with this 16 year old girl who was just supercool and full of life, but has been in the hospital for a few weeks and has some condition where her white blood cell count is virtually non-existent - she's not allowed outside. and they have no idea why - she woke up one day with a crazy fever and it just got worse from there. anyway, she's been seeing EVERYONE, infectious disease doctors, haematologists, oncologists. read her whole chart and a possible diagnosis is HLH which i had actually never heard of (went home and did some research)- a rare blood disorder where your macrophages eat all your other blood cells - really weird. and fatal if not treated. and even when treated (chemo, bone marrow transplants) there isn't a very high 5 year survival rate. so SO sad. this girl is such a typical teenager, plays on the soccer team, has tons of friends, a boyfriend... *sigh*, it's just so hard to think that there is such a low survivability rate if she does in fact have HLH... she was sitting there and started crying because she just wants to go home... and we can't even do needles because her white count is so low, we don't want any risk of infection... anyway, had a couple other patients. but all in all, that place just makes me think and feel and all these kids are so young and have so much going for them, yet... have the unfortunate circumstance of having some horrible medical condition.

on a completely different and much less depressing note, i LOVE cooking. and mama just sent me a fabulous cookbook (chocolate and zucchini - which is a great food blog, if you haven't seen it) and i have been really into food blogs and being inspired by some of their recipes and photos, especially smittenkitchen.com! in that vein, i made a BIG pot of soup on sunday to eat during much of my week... and while it's not the traditional version with kafir lime and lemongrass (i didn't have it at home) i made a quick and easy makeshift Tom Yum soup (thai style spicy!) and it came out pretty damn well... i just used chicken broth, a couple fresh-squeezed lemons, lots of sriracha, ginger, garlic and then veggies (bok choi, broccoli, cauliflower, mushrooms) and some shrimp and voila! (see below).

sweet!

2008-02-03T15:28:00.000-08:00

the molasses-spice cookies i made yesterday. they turned out AMAZINGly.

..i'm going to clear my head/i'm going to drink that sun...

2008-02-02T12:08:00.000-08:00

man, what a week. i came down with a nasty illness for most of it. started monday night with a really bad chest cough that hurt. took some herbs on tuesday and managed to clear the cough out of my chest but the sickness just went up to my head and i was all congested and sneezy... but i supposed up and out is better than down and in... i'm finally feeling like a normal human being again, albeit a bit congested still.

monday night i also went out to RICE at the W hotel with muffin, because it was restaurant week

other excitement of course was heading down to Vice (don't get me started on this one) to get my HHP license renewed. it was actually pretty easy this time around, didn't have to wait, but it's just a pain in the ass, not to mention expensive. here's to making it all back when i finish school in april and actually have TIME to work.

in other news, i just have to say i think i have some of the coolest friends ever: karen just got past the first round of interviews for a fulbright! court is going to school for wine-making, dawn just placed in the top-5 at a field goal kicking contest (yeah allstar!) and emily is coming out to san diego for a meeting at Scripps!!!!

the rest of my week was the same old same old craziness... 9 more to go! i can't wait... figured out all my applications for boards, so i pretty much just have to write the check and mail those in.

and now, it's art day! cheryl is on her way over, and i am baking molasses-spice cookies... you know you wish you were here :) so it seemed like the thing to do. i had the most amazing kobe beef short ribs... they were so tender, it was delicious, didn't need a knife or anything! anyway, that was a nice treat to start out a crazy week.

...steady as she goes...

2008-01-25T12:34:00.000-08:00

it's friday. finally. this week has just seemed so incredibly long... not to mention it's been rainy (which always makes me happy, but not so the rest of the residents of 'always-sunny-san diego'). so the week in recap:

monday: none of my patients showed up on my clinic shift (ah! it's raining, i might melt!). so i treated one of the assistants, hungout in the herb room making formulas and then co-treated with a friend. then off to children's... natalia and i saw this 5 year old boy with a brain-stem tumor, he's pretty much at end of life, has a DNR... *sigh* paralyzed from the neck down and wasn't communicating verbally. he was there though, his eyes were tracking us and responding. but, the killer isn't even seeing the kids like this, it's looking around their rooms and seeing the pictures of them when they were healthy and playing... it's enough to make you just about lose it. i honestly just can't even comprehend what life must be like for these kids, or their families... my heart goes out to them.

tuesday: ha. i am not sure what my problem was. i actually woke up for boxing at 5, and got out of bed and then decided not to go. also, called in to my volunteer shift and it was slow, so i didn't go for that either. went for a 55min jog as the weather was actually lovely - it had rained the night before, so the air was all cool and crisp but the sun was out. it was good to get some vitamin D. then went to work in the afternoon.

wednesday: had a full full japanese clinic. as usual. thought my first patient didn't show. (Rain, again). but one of the other interns was really sick, so i treated him. and then saw two of my regular patients. had class in the afternoon and then clinic at PB free. where i am having an issue with one of my patients. he's always there early and expects me to treat him immediately (even though we don't technically start treatments til 6) and he calls me 'kid' which is fine, but it's the way he says it. "what's this kid's name?" he asked my supervisor even though i was standing right there. "so, kid, you know what you're doing?" and it's not just this... i don't know what he wants me to treat - he won't ever tell me "you're the dr, kid, you tell me" and he doesn't tell me if he gets better or worse... so i have no idea if the treatment is any good. i'm really frustrated. and i spoke to one of my supervisors about it yesterday and he was just like "is there anything you can learn from him, think about that for a week" which is fine, but i've been thinking about it for a month. and actually i'm not learning ANYthing. that's the problem. and i have bad qi when i treat him, because i don't want to. and that's not fair to him either. so i am hoping maybe someone else can treat him next week. because if it were my own clinic there is a talk i would have with him about respect, etc and that i didn't want to treat him as a patient anymore, and i would refer him. but i don't feel like i can say that, since i have to see him every week even if i'm not treating him. anyway...

thurs: up at 5 for boxing. kong brought out the big guns. man class was hard this week. there were only 3 of us there. i mean it's usually hard, but this was killer. awesome though. except my SI joint has been bugging me (i think it's all the jogging), so i couldn't do everything (which of course drives me crazy). then class. then i skipped my 2nd class (sorry nancy!) to get an acu tx with Vasa for my SI joint. and of course i got chastized for jogging in the first place ("on concrete?! what's wrong with walking, or swimming?") i know, i know... but... and he told me not to do too many left hooks. :P. had a great tx, feel better, and THANK YOU IAN! for doing some awesome massage and stretching, it really helped! then after acu, class again! went home and crashed out almost immediately.

fri: here i am at work. slept ok last night. am SO SORE from yesterday. it's crazy. but i kinda like it. and it really makes sleeping feel so good :). the rest of my plans for the day include going down to Vice to renew my HHP license (if i can find my certification! eeek!), working out at some point, and having a chill night... possibly cleaning the house... ha!

the weekend forecast: bjorn is getting into town tonight, so cheryl and i have plans to hang out with him and TJ on saturday night - to relive our portland adventures! :) it'll be fun. and sunday am going to meditation, possibly hiking with cheryl and then pub quiz with some friends... and all too soon it'll be over! and back to the week...eeeeek!

so, here goes... have a happy weekend!

...good morning baby, i hope i'm gonna make it through another day...

2008-01-17T09:15:00.000-08:00

*sigh* it's just past 9am and i'm already ready for a nap. this week has been so busy, i just know i'm going to crash out when i get home tonight. unfortunately that's just over 12 hours away...

let's see - monday was good, had a clinic shift at school and then went to children's. kinda learned my way around with natalia - we ended up walking from one end to another more than once... i think we've got the place down now. after we got all badged and legal, we ended up seeing an almost 13 year old boy with a genetic muscle wasting disease. the kid was adorable, but he has been in the hospital (this admission) for months already. and his mom sleeps on the pull out chair. we did 2 needles on him, and some passive movement and massage. also we did massage on his mom and grandmother, and it's kind of amazing to see the change in him, when his mom relaxed... so cool. then i also treated a highschool girl who is in the chronic pain program for her headaches, though being much better it was her last treatment as she had graduated the program (outpatient). overall it was good shift, still a little overwhelming, but i think it's going to be a good thing, though definitely challenging.

that was monday. then tuesday, up at 5am for boxing. which was great. kong kicked my ass - which was necessary. but man, hadn't been for 3 weeks (comps, away, sick...) and yeah, i'm hurting... but in a good way :). then work all day. wednesday i had 3 clinic shifts - the last one at PB free - lots of emotional cases. and a woman who's a paranoid schizophrenic... who told me she never talked to human beings. interesting. but got a lovely treatment, and she calmed down and was quiet for the whole time...which was stellar! also saw a patient i had seen last week who had some severe wrist pain and she said it was SO much better this week, so that was good to hear! finally got home 10.30 pm and tried to get some sleep.

up again at 5 this morning for boxing. and now in school for 12 hours... i can't wait for my bed tonight.

...well at times this world be getting hectic...

2008-01-13T07:49:00.000-08:00

...My people I just wanna disconnect it
Find something to nourish the pain...

(hi).

i know it's been awhile. i've been off the grid a bit. but i feel like it's time to start writing again. if nothing else, there's going to be a lot of change happening over the next year and i figure i might need some space to verbalize it all. and not that this past year hasn't been a lot of change, what with back surgery and moving, but i'm not going to review. gotta keep on moving...

at the moment i'm in a strange place. not literally (literally i'm sitting in bed on a sunday morning with puma curled up at my feet) but mentally. i've been feeling really overwhelmed recently. not with school (though my schedule is crazy!) but with the fact that in 12 weeks (12 WEEKS!) i will be done. no more school. possibly ever. weird, eh? and this 4 year process that felt like forever (still does, some days i think the 12 week thing is a myth!) is actually ending. and then what? exactly. i'll be in SD for a few more months... i've got a lease through august after all and then i still have to take boards (nationals and possibly states) and it didn't really make sense to move before then. so then life involves getting some type of full-time job that will pay my rent, etc until i move. and studying. lots. and then there's the whole moving thing. (in case you don't know, my plan is to move to portland, OR in sept/oct - check out pictures of my trip this summer if you haven't already) and there's all the chaos with that, somewhere to live, not knowing anyone, finding a job, starting a practice... *sigh* not to mention a ridiculous amount in loans i am expected to pay back. ha! all in all it's making me feel just a little bit stressed (ok, that might be a slight understatement... but you get it). but i'm also excited. have been feeling kind of stuck here, so it will be good to move again, try something new...

other than that... let's see - life is ok. i'm crazy busy this term - i've got 4 classes and 4 clinic shifts, i'm working at blue lotus 2 days and doing a shift at acusport... so the days fill up quickly. thus far i'm liking my clinic shifts a lot, i've got one with Dr. J which should be good - will help me brush up with herbs and then a Japanese shift with Elizabeth - which is great. Then my two other shifts are off campus... i'm back at PB free again which is always an experience and then my last shift is at children's hospital - have only been to orientation thus far, so this week will be my first time treating... it should be really challenging and interesting... but i am really interested to see how acupuncture works in a hospital setting...

and i'll get on the update thing... really. :)

...bu tong ze tong, tong ze bu tong...不通這痛, 痛則不通

PW does Portland

Lost April/Where did you go?

we can never know what to want...

already the heart

...watching the tide roll away...

the true and the questions

you catch your breath and winter starts again/ and everyone else is spring bound...

I tiger you.

we all leave and let go

Helping Haiti.

welcome to miami...

nothing says love like a sharp knife...

in dreams...

return (v. intr.)

she left on a monday...

i have to admit it's getting better...

all the leaves are brown...

on autumn...

"...my calendar lies crumbled/laid to waste..."

We'll take a little walk/somewhere by the trees and water

anatomyacupuncture.com is on the interwebs!

worth a thousand words

happy (and happy 4th)

mirror, mirror on the lake....

sweet summer sunshine

carry me away into the woods

about time

worthwhile reading

It'll take more than a doctor to prescribe a remedy

i got a pocket/a pocket full of sunshine

...namaste...

they say it's your birthday...

here comes the sun

they were nothing more than people, by themselves...

that would be ecstasy/you and me...

And February was so long that it lasted into March...

i teeter between tired/and really, really tired/ i'm wiped out and wired/ but i guess thats just as well

the future's in the air/i can feel it everywhere/ blowing with the wind of change

and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms...

Year's End

..i'm going to pack my things and go...

when it snows, ain't it thrilling?

and we'd drop to sleep exhausted/then we'd wake up and it's snowing

tastes so good makes a grown man cry/sweet cherry pie*

*thanksgiving*

go now, and live

down by the river

i'm feeling supersonic/give me gin and tonic/you can have it all, but how much do you want it?

VOTE!

the falling leaves drift by the window/the autumn leaves of red and gold

represent

not all who wander are lost

and the colors are much brighter now/it's like they really want to tell the truth...

in the misty morning hours she calls to me

legalize it

...drums...

how could i forget to mention/the bicycle is a good invention

...i am not a pretty girl/that is not what i do...

we're back together again/ and i'm never gonna lose you as a friend...

the 5 day forecast...

two little feet/to get me across the city...

everywhere you go/you always take the weather with you

get the motor running/head out on the highway/looking for adventure/or whatever comes our way...

should i stay or should i go?

...it's a nice day /for a white wedding...

between the bars

retrospective

i thought the ocean/and the ocean thought nothing

of movement

mama don't take my kodachrome away

...under the state of a strange land...

"july, july, july/it never seemed so strange..."

*sigh*

get out the map and lay your finger anywhere down...

my heart was deep space and my head was maths

To fall in the void as I fell:

done. move. next.

i hate people.

*kawaii*

thanksgiving

sigh

kawaii

新年快乐